User Reviews

A psychopath is slicing the heads off of victims in cars with a sword at a local drive-in and it's up to Detectives Larry and Mike(Bruce Kimball and Steve Vincent)to find out who it is. The drive-in theater was once a carnival and many of those who worked in it are employed. It could very well be the incredibly cranky, ornery, and all-around rude theater manager, Austin Johnson(Newton Naushaus)whose foul attitude stinks something rotten;once the barker, he has been left to take care of the entire business while his former employer sold the farm and ran off to Hawaii or some place. Another suspect is the "half-wit" janitor, Germy(Douglas Gudbye)who is an admitted former sword swallower, but seems too mild-mannered and simple-minded to be a killer. The main suspect is Orville(Norman Sherlock), a creepy peeping tom, spotted by Germy hanging around cars, spying on certain couples making out. The detectives attempt woefully to solve the case but their methods are a bit suspect(..why would you associate yourself with Germy, a possible suspect, no matter how nice and hospitable he might be?)..I mean two victims are killed in cars not feet from where they were staking out! The major problem established by a host of other users is the languid pace of the entire film. Some interrogation sequences are stretched too long and we witness the uncomfortable cast languishing with rather dire material. I did find the foul character of Johnson rather amusing in how he describes everyone he comes in contact with..never a kind word for anyone, he's quite the misanthrope. Johnson is the kind of character you yearn to see get stabbed in the throat with a sword. I also enjoyed the opening beheading..but director Seagall doesn't quite match this with the subsequent killings(..one victim's head falls off and a couple is skewered by the dreaded sword while hugging). There's a bizarre red herring set-up featuring the great Buck Flower chasing after a female victim(..actually played by his real daughter Verkina!) inside a warehouse with a machete(..he's considered a suspect, but anyone in their right mind knows that the film will ultimately end at the drive-in). The truly horrible climax at the end punctuates a rather ineptly made film..attempting to leave open the killer's identity, it only has you scratching your head. A plausible climax determining who between two obvious suspects might in fact be the real killer would've at least provided a satisfying conclusion to a rather poorly conceived horror film. The really oddball sequence where Larry and Mike are questioning Orville in his home(..with nude posters of models pinned all over his living room walls)really has to be seen to be believed..seeing Orville squirming and wallowing in misery over his sexual appetites(..he even admits out loud to "beating his meat" while at the drive-in, completely overwhelmed in embarrassment!)while the detectives appear quite appalled. A film like Drive-in Massacre only proved that in the 70's almost anyone could make a movie.

Technically, "Drive In Massacre" isn't a slasher movie, because it was made a few years before the subgenre took off, but it does come awfully close. Necking couples are being done in with swords at a drive in and two cops try to stop the carnage. This movie really corners the market on sleazy character studies. And it's not much of a massacre. There's a decent decapitation of the first victim, but only a few murders occur in the course of the film. But any flick with an ex circus performer named "Germy" is worthy of a few bonus points. This would still play well at a drive in today. "Drive In Massacre" also boasts a neat abrupt ending...keep an eye on the car next to you if you ever have the pleasure of visiting a drive in theatre. Fun, but nothing special.

Drive In Massacre opens with a juicy double murder which suggests that the film might be something of a treat for lovers of outrageous 70s gore flicks: a sabre wielding maniac graphically kills a couple at the drive in, decapitating the guy whilst he is adjusting the loudspeakers next to his car, and then skewering the screaming girlfriend through the neck.

But don't be fooled by this delightfully trashy and bloody beginning, for what follows is some of the most tedious garbage to ever grace a slasher film, as a pair of bumbling detectives (John F. Goff and Steve Vincent) struggle to uncover the identify of the killer and the body count steadily rises.

With dreadful production values, acting to match, several interminably dull scenes of inane dialogue between the law and a variety of viable suspects, some equally inane chit-chat from the stupid couples who visit the drive-in (they keep on coming, despite the presence of a maniac), a totally incongruous scene where a machete wielding loon is pursued through a warehouse by the cops, an ending that fails to resolve matters (preferring instead to rely on the old 'the killer might be amongst you' gimmick), and very little in the way of gore after the first few minutes, Drive In Massacre will test the patience of even the most avid fan of grade-Z horror.

In desperation, director Stu Segall attempts to inject a little sleaze into proceedings with the inclusion of a pervy peeping tom and a brief bit of nudity from a good looking bird with a nasty perm, but a masturbating voyeur and a nice pair of tits are not nearly enough to save this film from being a total yawn.

2.5 out of 10, rounded up to 3 for the bearded cue-ball drive-in boss's tasty line in suits.

This one started out promising enough. OUT OF NOWHERE, a random sword chops off a dummy's head and then stabs through a playdough neck. Then, the film focuses on fat doofy cops questioning people forever. This leads to nowhere... Then, more killing! This time, not near as gory. Then, the film focuses on fat doofy cops questioning people forever. This, again, leads to nowhere... Then, we're in a carnival, and the cops are chasing around a completely unrelated killer. They somehow make it back to the drive-in and then there's a "twist" ending (which I actually liked -- it seemed unintentionally daring in a way). And then it ends.

And that's about it. A film that pretty much does nothing and is nothing but isn't a bad time by any means. In fact, I had a pretty good time with this film, but I was disappointed by the fact that the first killing was the only one with any gore (see Unmasked Part 25 for another example..). Entertaining and hilarious but skippable. Average.... except for the film's soundtrack. Man, what was with THAT? I'm not talking about the song at the beginning of the film ("Summer nights, midnight dreams swept away, he appears without a warning, stays the night and leaves the morning..."). The rest of the score was an off-time drum machine with maybe two sounds and two really bad keyboard players playing at the same time. It seemed to evoke no response whatsoever: it wasn't terrifying, it wasn't melodic, it sounded like nothing. Weird.

A choice cheesy chunk of wonderfully rancid and wretched two-cent 70's grind-house garbage about a putrid Califonia passion pit that's beset by a shocking series of gruesome murders perpetuated by some mystery maniac. It's up to a couple of bumbling and portly homicide detectives played by ubiquitous B-movie bit player/screenwriter John Goff and fellow perennial schlock film regular Bruce Kimball to catch the crazy kook before he kills again. Boy, does this alarmingly abominable and mind-numbingly moronic bilge strike out something stinky in every conceivable department: We've got uniformly awful acting, dire dialogue, flimsy plotting, no tension or suspense to speak of, poky pacing, ragged editing, ugly, eye-straining cinematography, wafer-thin characters, a horrendously redundant and annoying score, tacky gore, and flat-footed (non)direction by Stuart Segall, who also helmed such hard-core porn classics as "Teeny Buns" and "Insatiable" under the unlikely pseudonym of Godfrey Daniels(!). Still, there's a certain blatantly crummy, filthy and scroungy deep-seated rattiness and all-out unapologetic ineptitude to this thoroughly foul'n'fetid feature which makes it both strangely endearing and hugely enjoyable. The late, great, sorely missed George "Buck" Flower (who co-wrote the trashy script with Goff) has a hilarious cameo as a deranged machete-wielding lunatic who chases his real-life daughter Verkina around a mangy warehouse while repeatedly exclaiming, "I'm gonna cut all that poison out!" One of my all-time favorite so-horrible-it's-downright-happening sleazoid slasher flicks.

This film has a poor reputation . It's one that's probably deserved however due to its dire production values . Director Stu Segall seems to have no comprehension of fundamental film making techniques such as editing or cinematography . It's very difficult to hear what is being said or see what is going on . It also leads to confused scenes that seem to come out of nowhere like a machete wielding maniac stalking a young woman or the ending that will have you scratching your head wondering who the murderer is .

I'm not sure if it's the fault of the director or the screenwriters but there seems to be an air of campness running throughout the film but never successfully manifests itself on screen . For example we get two detectives posing as a courting couple at a drive in and one of them wears a dress and wig but but the whole feel of the film is never less than serious and dead pan and any amusement found in it is purely unintentional . The lack of budget also means there's never any ring of truth to the storytelling . If someone is killing patrons at a drive in you'd expect to see the crime scene cordoned off with tape and uniformed cops standing guard . The lack of budget means we never see any uniformed cops because the budget never stretches that far . Indeed it doesn't even seem to stretch to including crime scene tape

It's difficult to see who the film will appeal to . Die-hard gorehounds will be disappointed due to the lack of serious stomach churning gore while a mainstream audience will be put off by the terrible directing , writing and acting . The only reason DRIVE IN MASSACRE got two stars instead of one is because it's heaven made for one of those " 100 things I learned from this movie " threads such as

You have to be overweight to be a detective

and

It's possible to chop off someone's head leaning out of a car without their passenger noticing

The film focuses on the investigation of a series of murders at a small town drive-in by two local detectives. Their portrayals are unconvincing and awkward by the hammy actors who play them. The best acting comes from the two of the suspects, the surly drive-in owner and his slow-witted odd-job man. Some other suspects are also investigated and after a couple of fruitless scenes, finally arrive at the rather cheesy, hammed-up-for- drive-in-audiences ending. This schlock horror drive-in movie is hardly a classic, but neither is it the 'worst movie ever' others have labelled it. Certainly, the film has issues with it's pacing, lighting, sound and a few poor actors. The background music is some really bad electronic random nonsense. This may push some to the edge of their patience. Understandable really. Any halfway decent ideas are not fully explored, yet there are enough interesting moments to keep you from falling asleep. Despite all of it's flaws, this one still manages to provide enough entertainment value to get you to the end.