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10/10
I Have Seen the Future...and It Sucks !
Nodriesrespect29 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Until the advent of affordable CGI, the estimable Michael Ninn being something of a trailblazer in this respect (think LATEX, SHOCK and beyond), sex mixed with science fiction hardly seemed the obvious option, budget-wise. Another reason why so few of these combinations were successful was the fact that they sought inspiration in some of the more puerile genre classics such as STAR WARS (spawning Ann Perry's STAR BABE and Bob Vosse's SEX WARS), E.T. (which begot Ron Jeremy's E THREE : THE EXTRA TESTICLE !) and SUPERMAN (resculpted into Joe Sherman's enjoyable Desirée Cousteau vehicle MS. MAGNIFICENT) whose naive stance clashed with those aspects that put the adult into adult movies, resulting in a kind of uneasy hybrid failing to fully satisfy anyone. Clearly, it takes a genuinely talented filmmaker to make such a crazy combo work. By the early '80s, Gerard Damiano had little left to prove. Acknowledged as one of the genre's best and most innovative directors, he may have been looking for a challenge to test his mettle. SATISFIERS OF ALPHA BLUE proved to be his most ambitious project in many a blue moon, the filmmaker displaying sufficient ingenuity to overcome the by now familiar stumbling block of financial restraint. Sort of a "Brave New World" or "1984" in fornication film terms, Damiano's bleak view of a totalitarian future bears comparison to his revolutionary vision of hell in that other all time classic of his, DEVIL IN MISS JONES. Just how quickly times can change is depressingly illustrated by the director's revisiting the territory with the cheapskate shot on video sequel RETURN TO ALPHA BLUE only a few years down the line, making one appreciate the in every way superlative original all the more.

Somewhere in the 21st century, our planet left desolate and bereft of natural splendor in the wake of World War III, survivors are living in closed community bases such as Alpha Blue. Mankind's sole remaining pastime is à la carte penetration, women now utterly subjugated to every conceivable whim of the so-called stronger sex. Girls are strictly identified by number and place within hierarchy, ranging from Relaxers ("manual relief" only) via Satisfiers (the works) to Hostesses, who rest on their undoubtedly well-earned laurels and advise the menfolk in their choice of bedmates. Young Griffin (a decidedly hunky Herschel Savage) has no qualms about this state of affairs. His every desire's immediately catered to in a cool and professional manner, several times a day. He has never known differently, unlike his older best buddy Algon (yet another stunning turn from the magnificent Robert Kerman a/k/a "R. Bolla") who has known love in the past and can't reconcile himself with the emotionally void present, wish fulfillment notwithstanding. He wants to be swept off his feet all over again, like in the good old days, and detects a secretive kindred spirit in Satisfier Diana, played by the formidable Lysa Thatcher – freshly canonized courtesy of Howard Winters' NEON NIGHTS – in one of her most accomplished performances. A cute aside has Algon trading in his sex license on the black market in return for a roast chicken and a bottle of wine, more traditional means to wow your woman indeed ! The snake in the grass proves Diana's closet feminism. She's comfortable with her station in life which enables her to act on urges her gender has been forced to suppress for centuries. While Algon ultimately manages to convince his beloved of the sincerity of his intentions, the matter of whether this will actually prove beneficial for Diana is left tantalizingly dangling in the air, suggesting she may simply be trading one set of prison bars for another.

Women's tasks initially appear demeaning, reflected in an early scene where Griffin is worked over by three eager ladies (Lysa, Jody Maxwell and Hillary Summers), but gradually the focus shifts to female rather than male desire, with the intricate lighting going from harshly clinical to seductively glowing. Gaining strength and assertiveness, Diana mirrors the opening foursome in a later sequence by employing her sensual skills on a trio of hung hunks, camera largely ignoring their faces (for the record, they're George Payne, Michael Morrison and "Mal O'Ree" a/k/a Hustler critic Scott Mallory) as the girl gleefully drains them of their life force. Over the film's second half, men fade into the background altogether, culminating in an explosive rectal invasion with redhead Coral Cie – she did a memorable threesome with Mike Ranger and the late Kathy Harcourt in Fred Lincoln's SAME TIME EVERY YEAR – where only the servicing stud's basic equipment is shown. Eagle-eyed cock-watchers may be able to identify the guy as former gay porn icon Payne. Sex is practically wall to wall, even during expository dialog there will usually be something juicy going on in the background. Indomitable Annie Sprinkle, a goddess among mere mortals, demonstrates how she got her stage name – literally sprinkling people with love – by emptying her bladder on a grateful Mallory in a spicy sequence (these days unfortunately heavily trimmed in most available versions) also including foot and high heel worship, some very thorough analingus and creative dildo play. This is immediately followed by the fist insertion – another victim to censorship since – performed by weaselly looking Bill McKean from Shaun Costello's PANDORA'S MIRROR and Carter Stevens' TWILITE PINK on laid-back Tiffany Clark, presumably coked out of her skull if persistent rumors are to be believed. If scorching sex can't hold your interest by itself, begging the question why you're watching porn in the first place, I would like to direct you towards an interesting sequence involving the three main Satisfiers (Thatcher, Maxwell and Summers, each a different and distinctive specimen of contrasting womanhood) taking a private moment in their abode decorated with huge screens illuminated with images from their imaginings, Damiano's clever way of adding visual interest in tune with his futuristic vision on an economic scale.
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One of the best porn fliks ever made
johncecilprice26 May 2004
Porn is still very human storytelling that is either for the better or for worse of us.

& that is true even if porn makes you feel inhuman.

you can never remove the humanity from any of us no matter how much or how hard we may try or like to think it is possible in each other.

& I have to strongly disagree w/the previous reviewer.

Whereas, I do think if you are inclined to like traditional male oriented porn and the subsequent conventional minded sex scenes which match conventional expectations of sexuality and male female or dominant and submissive roles, etc, then for sure and for certain, you will not enjoy this flik.

Satisfiers is focused more on sexual and emotional extremes that are contrasted by the conventional aspects of a modern society, its work habits and the nature of our own western culture as it imagined/re-imagined in a post nuclear - apocolyptic society where people choose their pleasure & forms of pleasure over all else as a cultural priority.

The movie asks what is intimacy and how deep is deep in only the way one of the best porn fliks ever could both ask and answer its own question.

All of the plots and subplots ( and there are many complex subplots which are both subversive, offensive, shocking and hilarious ) in Satisfiers.

But this flik never beats you over the head with its philosophizing while the movie is squarely meant to titillate and entice you into perhaps an unusual state of arousal as well as into a realization that intimacy is a choice and the power to make that choice on your own is the most supreme power you can have as an individual.

& what I like most about this flik is that you can look at it a number of different ways as being confrontational, romantic, perverted, indifferent, radical, subversive and also most important: HOT.

or you may just see Satisfiers as being depraved and insultingly extreme and crassly vulgar/de-humanizingly obscene.

but the sincerity of the extremes displayed in this flik is what is often lacking in most gonzo porn of present day fare that tries to match extremes with the hot & enticing.

Satisfiers is however indeed everything a porn flik should while also doing very un-porn like things ( Annie Sprinkle takes the extreme reigns and runs with it in her scenes both in a golden sense and also in a role reversal scene with a dildo where she makes the man take it like a man and clean up what she used to get inside her man...HOT HOT HOT as the man licks up all the love he would normally leave on the womans face chest or rear-end - they both eat the fruits of the love ) be in many traditional senses too ( moneyshots galore, orgies, anal, Mutual M & LOTS more ) to where its like a kinky sex flik made by horny but kinda korny circus performers who saved up their money to make the art flik they always wanted to make.

Also the women and male actors in Satisfiers are imperfect and are missing the sculpted and toned bodies we are used to seeing in modern porn fare starting 86-present day..but that is also what the best pron gave us - people who looked like ordinary people having the sorts of sex we all wished we could have in or day to day lives.

The flik is rest assured graphic, explicit but not so much focused upon itself or what it could or can/does say in as much as being focused on following its inner kink ( and there are many kinks and sexual extremes explored in this picture which is quite progressive in its scope.

& not only women are penetrated in this film, but also the men get their sexual roles reversed and done so with such sincerity and sincere indulgence, that the flik is more like a trigger mechanism for people who are into all of the codes and kinky extremes it alludes to and simultaneously succeeds in delivering a hot porn story that is pleasurable and being something that will keep you from reaching for the fast forward button.

The flik on the kink meter for those into and experienced with kinky lifestyles in Kink Lite but for more traditional male porn oriented perspectives, this flik is the most disgusting turnoff you could ever imagine.

BUt for those types who are into the unconventional, camp and extreme on a cinematic level, then this is exactly what you wish The California Porn Scene could produce more of over and over again.

The only other porn fliks to surpass this one in quality are deveil in miss jones part one & cafe Flesh.

Also note there are 2 versions of this flik depending upon where you live where the golden shower scene with annie sprinkle is either there or cut out.
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1/10
Satisfaction Not Guaranteed
NoDakTatum2 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This cheap sci-fi/porn holds the crown for one of the stupidest titles of all-time, until "The Myth of Fingerprints" and "Surfer, Dude" was released. A bearded Algon (Robert Kerman) is sad. He and his best buddy Griffin (Herschel Savage) live in the twenty-first century in a world without poverty and war. When men need some lovin', they call up a "satisfier," whose main job is to cater to their every sexual whim. While Griffin enjoys the wall-to-wall, all-day sex, Algon wants something more- love and romance. The satisfiers' main goal is to become a hostess, then they will be able to pick the men they sleep with. Algon fixates on the lovely Diana (Lysa Thatcher), who rejects him. After a little slap-happy rough sex, Diana comes around, and Algon and Diana live happily ever after...c'mon, this is porn, you want Shakespeare?

I remember reading that when Stanley Kubrick was looking to make "Eyes Wide Shut," he had planned on filming it with hardcore sex scenes. He did not realize that dream, and I doubt he could have. There are not enough good actors and actresses who can both deliver a line of dialogue and do hardcore scenes. With the ever-blurring line between porn and the mainstream, this film stands out as a relic. Damiano just wanted to put raincoat-wearing butts in a dirty theater's seats, he was not looking to make a mainstream film that would be shown in suburbia. The acting is porn acting- awful. Most of the talent is physical, why be concerned with emoting and characterization? Typical of most porn, I marveled at some of the pretty girls, rolled my eyes at the technical aspects, and waited for this to end. The sets and costumes are hilarious. We are all supposed to be wearing knits and watching stock film footage on giant wall televisions- okay, that last part is true. The plot lumbers along so the cast can do what they were hired to do. There are only so many ways to film a sex act, but Damiano tries to put a new spin on the proceedings- slow motion, freeze framing, and extreme close-ups all to mask a sad film. This was followed by a sequel, "Return to Alpha Blue," I will not be looking for that anytime soon. Done in the waning days before video saved the porn industry, "The Satisfiers of Alpha Blue" elicits sympathy more than erotica.
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10/10
Nothing Cheap About This Movie!
justrich1 September 2008
Gerard Damiano directed this Futuristic-Sex masterpiece. Every scene is up close and top quality--makes you feel like you're there. Hillary Summers does a great oral scene with Herschel Savage...Jody Maxwell does a DP...Lysa Thatcher sucks off 3 guys,etc. But if an award could have been given to this film, It should have gone to Robert Bolla for his portrayal of "Algon"--A man seeking real love in a time of only sexual satisfaction! It's been a while since I last saw this movie and I only hope the DVD quality is as rich and colorful as the VHS release was. Porn Legend Annie Sprinkle appears in this one as does a young Lee Carroll. I don't know who I would give the miss-messy-with-sperm-mouth award to. As far as this film, it would be either Lee or Hillary.
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