Family Matters (1989–1998)

Shawn Harrison: Waldo Geraldo Faldo, Guy in Towel

Photos 

Quotes 

• Steve Urkel : The woman's been flirting with me.

  Waldo : She has?

  Steve Urkel : Oh yeah, just last week, she actually telephoned me in the middle of the night.

  Eddie : Steve, your house was on fire!

• Judge Vance : All right, young man, call your first witness.

  Steve Urkel : Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo!

  Waldo : Okay, but I'm not home.

• Steve Urkel : Have you ever had a date?

  Waldo : I got close once. I almost went to the movies with Vicky Vanderfanny.

  Steve Urkel : You mean Hickey Vicky?

  Waldo : Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes.

• [Waldo is being cross-examined in court] 

  Steve Urkel : State your name.

  Waldo : Illinois.

  Steve Urkel : No... state your name... not name your state.

  Waldo : Oh, Waldo Faldo... from Illinois.

• Steve Urkel : [Steve is suing Carl on the TV show Citizen's Court and Waldo has been called as a witness]  Waldo, how did you feel about Pablo?

  Waldo : [Monotone while Steve mouths his words with him]  Pablo was a kind and gentle creature. When I was with him, I felt... I felt...

  [Rolls up his sleeve and begins reading] 

  Waldo : ... I felt like I was one with the Bee-Oh-Sphere.

  Steve Urkel : [panicked]  ... um... perhaps you mean "biosphere"?

  Waldo : [after thinking a moment]  Ok. Cool.

  Steve Urkel : [Rushed]  That's all. I'm finished with this witness, your honor!

  Laura : Wait a second. Excuse me Waldo, is there something written on your arm?

  Waldo : Just the stuff Steve told me to say.

• Waldo : See anything you like?

  Steve Urkel : How much is that one?

  Waldo : Forty bucks.

  Steve Urkel : I'll give ya thirty.

  Waldo : Twenty-five!

  Steve Urkel : Twenty!

  Waldo : Fifteen and that's as high as I'm going.

  Steve Urkel : Sold!

  Waldo : Sucker.

• Waldo : What are you doing, Willie?

  Willie Fuffner : I'm gonna get Urkel!

  Waldo : But, why ya gonna do that, Willie?

  Willie Fuffner : Because, he humiliated me!

  Waldo : But, you humiliate me every day.

  Willie Fuffner : [sigh]  That's different. You're my friend.

  Waldo : Oh yeah.

• Waldo : You guys think you can walk all over me because I'm dumb. But I have feelings, too. If you cut me, do I not cough? If you hit me, do I not sneeze? And if you call me names, do I not eat?

• Waldo : No prob, Bob!

• Waldo : Life is short, and so it Gary Coleman.

• [to Steve] 

  Alex Phillips : How 'bout you put your money where your mouth is.

  Waldo : Don't do it, Urkel! Money has germs on it.

• Steve Urkel : Have you guys seen Laura?

  Eddie : Nope.

  Waldo : Sure you have. Pretty girl, dark hair... your sister for God's sake!

  Eddie : I meant, I haven't seen her today.

  Waldo : Ohh... Cool.

• Eddie : Hey Waldo, how do I look?

  Waldo : With your eyes.

• Waldo : Dude, it's Rick James!

  Eddie : Waldo, that's my dad.

  Waldo : Your dad is Rick James?

• Eddie : Waldo?

  Waldo : What's up?

• Ms. Steuben : Waldo! What a turkey!

  Waldo : Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names!