(1998 Video)

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Vanity production aims at New Age mysticism
lor_22 September 2016
Warning: Spoilers
If I were shown "Eros" as a blindfold test (no credits or information about its source) I would guess it was one of the hundreds of Adam & Eve releases circa the turn of this century, which pioneered a now-abandoned film style: dreamy, mystical erotic trips. These are my favorite types of Adult Cinema, but Wicked Pictures' "Eros" despite its similarity to the A&E ethos doesn't measure up.

Under contract to Wicked, the married team of Mickey G. and Missy did everything here, writing, producing, directing and starring. Like many a vanity production it may have had a genuine germ of an idea, but emerges half-baked.

With non-porn actress Penny Swing cast as Dr. Jacobs, we see her weird experiments on female orgasm, which she says she has "suspended", tapping the orgasmic energy to propel "micronized" travel from the body to the stars in Outer Space. Penny recites plenty of mumbo-jumbo but that is not important: for this genre of film it is the mood, especially enhanced by ethereal music, that creates the desired mystical frame of mind for flights of fancy.

Chief experimental subject is Stephanie Swift, who by rights would have been the star of this vehicle had it not been the pet project of the aforementioned team. Through her dreams and our mad scientist's insertion of a strange crystal device in Steph's pussy, she has been transported successfully to another world, and more importantly, returned.

The good doc finds a kindred spirit via the internet, and enlists Christina (our auteur Missy herself) to be the "expert witness" and travel with Steph into outer realms to establish the veracity of the experimental claims. I suppose Wicked Pictures rather than some elite scientific journal is the mode for reporting this cockamamie discovery.

Before the big test, we are treated to several erotic sex scenes which are well-directed (someone has listed Brad Armstrong as director but he DOES NOT receive a screen credit) and performed, with group-sex emphasized. Swift travels to a lagoon replete with photogenic waterfall for an interracial encounter with no less than Mr. Marcus and Lexington Steele, humping her and Missy in what turns out to be a foreshadowing, as Missy has not met Steph or even Doc. Jacobs yet.

Final reels are quite confused and confusing. What appears to be a completely irrelevant sex scene (not uncommon then as now in Adult videos for padding) has Ian Daniels humping Temptress, two characters we have not been introduced to and who don't appear elsewhere. It isn't until the end credits that we learn that Daniels is playing Keith, Steph's estranged boyfriend, a highly relevant fact whose omission is inexcusable.

Similarly, the big event where Steph (crystal in pussy) and then Missy (her pussy rubbed by a glass object) are sent off to orgasm heaven, but what we see is instead Missy having group-sex with mermaids (Tabitha Stevens and the mysterious beauty named Tye) and a merman (Mickey G., of course). Steph is nowhere to be found or observed as intended.

Confusion piles on confusion as back in the lab Doc Jacobs and Missy's lover Brad Armstrong are at wit's end since neither test subject has successfully returned. The Doc sends Brad on a rescue mission (basically putting him into a tanning bed and closing the top, pretty crummy for sci-fi or fantasy purposes) which the audience knows (but not Brad) is a suicide mission, since it's been established early on that these orgasmic energy trips to Outer Space only work for women, with men never to return.

Next Steph is back in the lab apparently having never left (a total contradiction to the previous scene) and Swift gives a fine, tearful performance of heartbreak at her failure and the realization that Missy (courtesy of the Doc) is now merely in cryogenic deep freeze, Brad gone, gone, gone. A very downbeat and unsatisfactory ending to a bungled movie.

With Brad getting retrospective credit for this mess (he co-starred and did handle art direction duties), it is a bit ironic that it is a forerunner of the dozens of pretentious and increasingly overproduced epics he was to direct for Wicked over the next two decades - making "Eros" equivalent to letting the genie out of the bottle, for better, or to my way of thinking given that I prefer Brad's more modest movies, for worse.
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