User Reviews

Or not.

The story is pretty thin, trying to recall that of a 90's Hong Kong gangster flick. Fortunately (or unfortunately) for the HK pieces, they actually had mob connections and some of the elements were quite visceral and real. Boy meets girl, they both fall into doomed love.

The ending is a cliffhanger-- probably the only good narrative element in the story, and even that falls a little short.

This film has pretty solid action sequences-- though one thing can be said; there's a goon who appears several times on all different sides (a goon in awe of Yong, the 'samurai' yakuza guy etc) and that causes a lot of confusion.

For a '96 movie, the cast seems decked out in what appears to be 80's throwback fashion. That and the stiff acting combined makes it seem like a day time soap.

It's not a bad movie. But only worth watching if your brain is on auto pilot and you have absolutely nothing else to do.

I've made it a habit of recent years to walk through the video store and try to find the lower budget movies that might have some of the new names of directing, acting, or producing. There has been some really cool movies coming out of Korea lately, and I thought this was one of them.

I haven't seen a movie this bad with martial arts in it since "The Vault" with Bas Rutten. Goes to show that all the martial arts ability in the world doesn't mean jack in the world of acting. If this movie was a vehicle to demonstrate the Martial Art or the abilities of the performer (Think Tony Jaa in "Ong Bak, Thai Warrior" or Bruce Lee in "Enter the Dragon") it was a really poor job. I can't think of a single reason to make a movie this bad except sheer boredom. And a desperate need to drop $30,000 dollars hard earned cash without leaving for Las Vegas. And no, that wasn't a compliment! Was there anything I can say about the good? American Chinatown's cast (with the noted exceptions of Robert Z'Dar and Liat Goodson) are all current or previous practitioners of Hwa Rang Do,(thank you, Yahoo! Search Engine!) If you can get past the terrible acting, terrible script, lack of characterization and any financial backing what-so-ever, some of the fight sequences have the usual Korean flash of outstanding kicks and joint locks that we've seen from Tae Kwon Do and Hapkido. Depressingly, the stuff on their web site was more entertaining then the film. There are some quick, (and by quick I mean SHORT) fight scenes in the movie with weapons demonstrating disarms and take downs. Yep, and there is a sword duel as well in there.

First rule of making a great movie: Great script. After seeing this movie and some of the other steaming piles of garbage in Hollywood I'll even lower my standards to 'okay' script and this movie still wouldn't cut it. Before I can even harp on the acting I have to say that NO actor would have been able to save the dialog of this movie. Had Bruce Lee risen from the grave looking to do this as a film, one read through of the script would have put him right back in the grave. Yes, its THAT bad! Second Rule of making a great movie: Great Talent. That usually refers to actors, but it extends to everybody on the production crew. The movie is terribly lighted, horribly sounded, and the editing is a sheer nightmare. There are virtually no cut-aways, no multiple angles, and no effects what-so-ever. What you end up with is a single shot, single frame, 15 seconds to a minute long take of action from 1 (!) angle from which to see anything. I guess it solved that little problem most big budget movies call, 'Continuity.' (As if this movie was worried about continuity... how's that Eyepatch, Eric T. Lee? Wait, which character are you playing now...? it changes every few scenes when I fall asleep...) There's nothing I like seeing more in a low budget film than actors playing multiple roles...badly.

And the acting! ****SPOILER ALERT**** The scene with Goodson's character getting attacked by the two thugs/ blue haired (!) rapists in the alley... Yeah, I was rooting for the rapists at that point. At least THEY were convincing. Oh man, and how much tough guy posturing can one movie have? I felt like the director's main note to the actors was "If you forget a line, just mumble, smoke, and look tough." There is a lot of mumbling, smoking, and people trying to look tough in this movie.

Third Rule of making a great action movie: If it's an action movie, showcase the action! This movie's entire script (I use the term 'script' loosely) is honestly just there to string together fight scene to fight scene. So, if the production crew was at least being honest with themselves, they would of thrown every cent into multiple camera angles, decent lighting, and some added FX for the fights. Since they didn't, you have martial arts that would have the possibility of being pretty good on film if we could: A) see what they were doing when the shot isn't being blocked by someone's body, wall or shadow, B) have realistic battle wounds ****SPOILER****(Yes, Taejoon, I am talking about you... how does a slash across the belly give you a limp?! My God, Igor lurches more convincingly!) C) have some effects that really show the subtitles of what you are doing, I.E. Slow motion, quick cut aways, and for Pete's sake, multiple angles! And lastly, D) Coherency... but I can't fault them too much on that with a script that bad.

A great set of fight scenes should be able to tell you about both the characters in the movie and how their character is expressed in the way they fight. The end duel in 'Rob Roy', The Duel in "The Empire Strikes Back", even the street brawl in "They Live" can all be watched separately from the rest of the film with the sound off and people are able to tell who these characters are and what they are feeling from what we see. ****SPOILER**** With American Chinatown, you can only tell who the good guy was at the end of the movie because he is the last guy left... limping.

I give this movie one star out of respect that people tried to make a movie. What we got was American Chinatown. They may be great martial artists, but there is an art to film making too... one that takes a whole lot more respect then we see it given here. Invest in some acting lessons, talk with production on HOW to showcase the martial arts, and spend some actual money next time around and you might have something worthy of 'Straight To Video.'

A poorly edited start to the movie sees a valet driver beat up three gang members from the movie "Colors." As strange as it sounds, this movie is loud one minute and quiet the next, at the same time. The music blasts your ears away, but when they speak, you can barely hear what they're saying.

The valet driver pays a Spanish hooker to be his girlfriend, and it's an awkward first date, not helped by the fact that the cameraman behind the lens films out of focus.

The valet driver escorts the escort lady to Chinatown and buys her a gyro, which she doesn't even receive.

All of a sudden, a turf war explodes out of the blue and for no reason, and a bunch of fighting tongs display aerial moves and Kung Fu twists that are pretty impressive. I don't know who to cheer for though, as I don't know who's who from whom? Or care for that matter.

The valet driver proves he's a true Triad by playing pool in one of Shredder's internet cafés.

With no lighting on set and no plot to follow, the valet driver red-armies his way through a gang of organized crime lords for no explained reason.

Maniac Cop is introduced looking like one of those porcelain Matryoshka dolls.

The sound on this rip is horrid. There's a backward watermark on the screen that reads rms. Whoever rms is, your uploads are garbage. The movie's a one-legged mule that can't balance its own weight.

The actors are all fresh out of high school and primed from their student film project before they moved on to this more advanced motion picture.

With terrible acting and poor sound, the only highlight of "American Chinatown" is the valet driver displaying his martial arts skills, as no one can lay a hand on him. He beats up anyone he encounters.

Here he goes again, bashing up three Samurai Matrix warriors for no reason.

Oh boy, at times it's like the actors forget their lines and have to think for a few seconds to remember what they were before speaking.

45 minutes in, and none of these actors know who their enemy is. They don't even know what they're fighting for as there are no opposing forces. They just walk around and encounter random goons who don't belong to any clique.

Um, the valet driver is sent on a blind date and worries that Eric won't dig his new dress sense.

Looking at Z'Dar and his big jaw - you broke that jaw? - reminds me of the times I've been stung by bees on my head.

This one time the sucker bit me on the temple, and my eyelid blew up like a golf ball and nearly pushed my eye into the recesses of my skull.

Eric doesn't dig the valet's new suit and stabs him for having poor taste in clothing.

I go from bad to worse with my movie choices.

A one-legged mule has a small percentage of survival, if it ain't euthanized, but amputate that one remaining leg and you have "American Chinatown." This is just a mass of donkey that lies there begging to be bathed, moved, scratched, fed, etc.

This crap needs to become bionic and have metal stumps attached to its shoulders and a skateboard stitched on its torso.

There's no mobility with this movie.

And what quick-fire sales bin did they pull these actors out of? Talk about unlimited Z-grade actors "r" us.

They're just high school kids fresh out of college who had dreams of making it big in Hollywood, but when push came to shove, they must have stood around for hours wasting time to get their bearings as they were scared out of their wits and didn't really know what they were doing when the camera was pushed in their faces. (Frightened were we, boys?)

There was no director to say, "Action," at the very beginning apparently.

This lead actor, the valet driver, must be solely responsible for everything in this movie?

Anyone daring enough to put their name forward as director of this never bothered to.

There is no direction.

It's like a home movie, all pieced together from someone's personal collection of handheld recordings on VHS tape.

This breakup scene at the 57-minute mark, with its raw display of human emotion, is some of the finest drama you'll ever lay eyes on.

Wow, that British actress is the legless mule of this movie. Between her mule mass and Mr. Kung Fu, this garbage is out of bounds and should be sent to the principal's office and have its parents called. This British actress is on equal footing with Jill from "Shootfighter: Fight to the Death." I don't know who's worse.

Training wheels! That's what that framed mule requires: training wheels.

I've seen legless turtles aided by training wheels because they had no back feet.

"American Chinatown" crawled its way out of a satin-lined coffin and managed to find its way onto the shelves of Blockbuster, then somehow miraculously wound up infecting itself on the internet.

The valet driver is fatally stabbed by his blind date but manages to survive.

He loses face and is relegated to being a boat detailer.

He's fatally stabbed in the liver again and ploughs on while Maniac Cop blasts fools away with a 12-gauge, which warrants one point for that.

Maniac Cop gets beat up easily and reveals himself to be a poor martial artist and nothing without his gun.

The dying valet driver beats everyone up, and the final frame of the movie just freezes, and it ends.

We don't get to see what became of the British mass of mule.

If you want to be insulted by rigor mortis actors, then this movie's your ticket.

"American Chinatown" is legless.