M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Goodbye, Farewell and Amen (1983)

Allan Arbus: Maj. Sidney Freedman

Quotes 

• Dr. Sidney Freedman : You know, I told you people something a long time ago, and it's just as pertinent today as it was then. Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice - pull down your pants and slide on the ice.

• [Hawkeye was telling Dr. Sidney Freedman about what he initially thought was a chicken clucking inside the bus] 

  Dr. Sidney Freedman : Then what happened?

  Hawkeye : Then I went back toward the front of the bus.

  Dr. Sidney Freedman : And what happened next?

  Hawkeye : There's something wrong with it. It stopped making noise. It just--just stopped.

  [pauses] 

  Hawkeye : She-she killed it! She killed it!

  Dr. Sidney Freedman : She killed the chicken?

  Hawkeye : Oh, my God! Oh, my God! I didn't mean for her to kill it.

  [sobbing] 

  Hawkeye : I did not--I--I just wanted it to be quiet. It was--it was a baby! She, she smothered her own baby.

  [pauses] 

  Hawkeye : You son of a bitch, why did you make me remember that?

  Dr. Sidney Freedman : You had to get it out in the open. Now we're halfway home.

• Dr. Sidney Freedman : Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice. Pull down your pants, and slide on the ice.

• [there was an Armed Forces Radio broadcast about the war possibly ending very soon] 

  Hawkeye : [in the psychiatric ward]  Thank you, Dr. Freedman, I won't require your services anymore.

  Dr. Sidney Freedman : Where are you headed, soldier?

  Hawkeye : The war is coming to an end. Everybody's on stage for the finale. If you don't mind, I'd like to exchange my straitjacket for something in a 39 normal. So if you'll call me a taxi, I'll be on my way.

  Dr. Sidney Freedman : So hard to find a cab in this part of the war. Besides, I don't think you're quite ready to leave.

• Dr. Sidney Freedman : B.J.!

  B.J. : Hey, Sid, get your red-hot hot dogs.

  Col. Potter : Folks, can I have you attention? I need Captain Hunnicutt. Would the hot dog man please get his buns over here?

• Hawkeye : Time to hit the couch?

  Dr. Sidney Freedman : Actually, it may be time to hit the road.

• Dr. Sidney Freedman : Yesterday, you were going to tell me about that day at the beach.

  Hawkeye : It was great, very hot. A lot of people say too much sun is no good for you. And you know, carcinomas can result from that. You know, this of course would concern me as a physician.

  Dr. Sidney Freedman : I'd like to get back to the beach.

  Hawkeye : Hey, go ahead, take the rest of the day off.

• [Hawkeye gets a phone call in the psychiatric ward] 

  Dr. Sidney Freedman : Good time as any for a break.

  Hawkeye : Yeah, let's knock off till Christmas.

• Dr. Sidney Freedman : Ladies and gentlemen, take may advice: Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.