Mon, Feb 2, 2004
Brian is the high-school basketball team's statistician and looks like he's friends with them. While picking up the team who are quite drunk, Bill finds out that they call Brian "Jeeves", short for "Jeeves Our Helper Monkey" and made him their errand boy and chauffeur. Bill angrily lets all the players' parents know that they're drunk. While talking to Brian, Bill and Judy learn that being named "Jeeves" is no big deal and that being an errand boy has its perks. But now they've changed the nickname to "Narc" and he's no longer the statistician but demoted to the team mascot, "Coogie." Bill talks to the team and takes responsibility for getting them into trouble with their parents and says that Brian wants to be statistician again. He also suggests that Brian and the family van can help the team prank their rival, Hancock Magnet School. Then Bill tells the coach about the prank and gets the team into more trouble and they nickname Bill "Suck" and keep calling Brian "Narc." The next day, Bill and Judy get a call from the coach, accusing Brian of pulling the prank against Hancock. Meanwhile, Linda dumps "needy" boyfriend Pete and pawns him off on one of her co-workers, then gets jealous when things go well between the new couple.
Wed, Mar 1, 2006
Judy wants the job of assistant to Dr. Holman the dentist, so she needs her family to behave like the ideal family on a dinner at his place. Meanwhile, Brian gets a cut during a knife fight scene in West Side Story and meets Amy, a hot girl who makes the mistake of thinking Brian is talking about a real knife fight - a story which makes her hot for Brian. Brian is about to explain that he is not really a bad boy in a gang, but Bill urges him to seize the chance to get the girl, so Brian continues playing the role. Difficulties arise when the Millers arrive at the Holmans and it turns out that Amy is Dr. Holman's secretly rebelling daughter. Brian now needs to make Amy think he is a bad boy who's pretending to be a nerd when his parents are around, when the truth is that he actually *is* a nerd. And Dr. Holman is also a nerd with a room full of nerdy collector's items. Brian needs to choose: the girl or the items?
Wed, Sep 28, 2005
The Miller's neighbors, Terry and Shelly, have a favor to ask. The cable guy is coming while they are away and they need someone to let him in, so they give Bill and Judy the keys to their house. However, when they return and ask for the key back, they suspect Bill of using their shower and Judy of taking some of Shelly's perfume. And when the cable guy came, nobody answered the door! In their defense, Judy tells them she's been waiting three weeks for Bill to fix their upstairs bathroom. All of this loses importance when Terry and Shelly discover that their son Chris missed his cello lesson because he drove Lauren and her friends to the mall instead, with more plans for future outings. Terry isn't thrilled and lets Bill and Judy know that. Shelly cuts to the chase: are Lauren and Chris dating or is she just using him?
Mon, Oct 4, 2004
Linda's cat actually kills itself accidentally. Judy consoles her and they have the wake at their house. Lauren and Brian are reluctant to take part in the whole funeral thing and Judy has to order them to participate. When Bill is momentarily left alone with Judy he starts to make jokes about the cat's death and after a few Judy comes up with one too. Unfortunately Linda overhears them and is offended. Bill and Judy then have to come up with a suitable apology. Unfortunately Judy only comes up with the suggestion that Linda should have a relationship with a man instead of a cat.
Mon, May 24, 2004
Brian is selected to participate in the accelerated math program at Norhwestern University. In addition, he starts playing drums in a band at the student union with some others in his college class. Judy gets upset and worried when Brian starts coming home each night past his curfew and scolds him, using many of the parental clichés everyone has heard. When Judy grounds Brian, he becomes very defiant. Bill talks to Brian while Brian is in the garage unpacking his drums, telling Brian another parental cliché - "my house my rules." Consequently, Brian moves into the garage so he can live by his own rules. He proves himself very capable at independent living, but later, when fired by his fellow band members, he asks Bill if he can move back into the house. Elsewhere in the family, Tina is a Bluebell Girl but not much interested in it. Linda, however, wants to live the Bluebell experience through her because, when she was a girl, Judy got to be a Bluebell Girl but quit and their mom, thereafter, wouldn't allow Linda to join. Also, we hear Lauren singing. She sings well but no one in the family hears her talent - just her snoring when she's asleep.
Mon, Jan 31, 2005
Bill and Judy return home after a romantic date night and hear noise from the basement. Bill goes to investigate and returns to report that "Brian and Lauren's friends are down there" and adds: "I told a joke and cracked them up". Judy finds it odd, because "normal girls don't like Brian's friends" and, she points out, "no kids like your jokes". So she goes down with Bill in tow, looks around and sniffs the kids, but finds nothing. Then she accidentally bumps into one of the boys and hears bottles rattle inside his jacket. Lauren claims that the bottles are needed for a game of Spin the Bottle, but Judy calls her bluff out by spinning a bottle, forcing Lauren to choose between the truth and kissing one of Brian's nerd friends. Lauren confesses. The beer party is over. Brian and Lauren get grounded for two months. Bill and Judy have a talk with Ted and Kathy, the parents of one of the kids. Ted comes up with the idea of the parents setting an example for the kids by not drinking for one month. Bill and Judy are reluctant to commit to the idea. Some time later, Brian overhears Judy telling Bill that the other parents have agreed to not drink for a month and claiming that they too could do it, if they wanted. He tells this to Lauren and they both laugh at their parents. Then Linda points out that they do drink too much in front of the kids. So Bill and Judy announce to Brian and Lauren that they will abstain from drinking for a whole month. Not as easy as they think it will be...
Wed, Oct 12, 2005
Lauren says she should start thinking about college and that she'd like to participate on a tour in Loyola on Friday evening. Judy doesn't buy the cover story, of what is obviously a frat party, and forbids Lauren from going. Bill requests Brian to help him insulate the attic. Judy and Linda are forced to attend traffic school because of tickets. Unlike in high school, Linda becomes popular with everyone while Judy is left out and left to hang with an intellectual sitting in the back corner. Despite having been told not to go, Lauren goes to the party anyway but is later forced to call Brian to pick her up, which gives Brian leverage to force Lauren into being his "slave," or else he will tell Bill and Judy. Lauren, however, starts a power struggle when she successfully bluffs Brian into revealing where the "dirt" on him is hidden. Bill finds out about their lies but says their mother need not know - if Brian and Lauren become his attic insulation slaves.
Wed, Jan 11, 2006
Bill and Judy have to put up with Marion going on about how wonderful her and Fitz's marriage is so after finding out that Marion & Fitz are going to the Rolling Stones concert conceive to buy tickets for the same concert and then end up playing a cat and mouse game with each other when both 'lose the tickets' which they haven't bought in order to guilt Marion and Fitz to giving them their tickets - but they didn't bargain on Brian.