Heat Vision and Jack (TV Movie 1999) Poster

(1999 TV Movie)

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9/10
Wow, I Can't Believe This Was Actually Real
gavin694228 March 2006
When I watched this, I figured it had to be a spoof by Ben Stiller. Stiller, who I don't normally like, had made something so outlandish that it couldn't possibly be real. But it was. And it was incredibly funny. So, Ben Stiller, I might have faith in you after all.

Jack Black, Owen Wilson, Ron Silver and Christine Taylor.... all on TV? Who turned up this idea? Fools, I say. Christine Taylor, for Jiminy's Crickets! And Jack Black... on a talking motorcycle... and he is fighting against "grave danger"! "Apparently the human mind is not unlike cookie dough..." "NASA is evil! They have a man tracking me down. His name is Ron Silver... a gifted actor and a cold-blooded killer." How can you turn down programming like this? I remember 1999 and the only thing even remotely like this was "Son of the Beach"...

This review is horrible and poorly written... lucky for you, this show isn't. Watch it. Or else. NASA is watching you.
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9/10
Hilarious in it's purposeful stupidity
TOMNEL7 August 2008
Ben Stiller came to television with the Ben Stiller show, and despite great reception, it was canceled quickly. He went out and got famous in film, only to come back to television and get canceled again. Heat Vision and Jack takes humor out of it's ridiculous premise, bad dialogue and melodramatic acting, parodying bad television shows, mainly Knight Rider. Where Knight Rider took itself too seriously, Heat Vision and Jack takes nothing seriously at all. It's a stupid, but hilarious joke.

Jack (Jack Black) was formerly an astronaut sent into space on a special mission. When in space, his mind was expanded and now he knows everything. NASA wanted to take his brain, so he called his roommate Doug, who was vaporized into the motorcycle he was driving. At that moment, he ceased to be Doug and he became Heat Vision, the talking motorcycle. In this thrilling adventure, Jack and Heat Vision (voiced by Owen Wilson) are on the tail of a possessed gas station owner (Vincent Schiavelli) that can melt people with his eyes. Along the way, Jack and Heat Vision must avoid Ron Silver who's trying to kill them, and they meet a sheriff (Christine Taylor) who helps them on their journey. Can they survive the chaos? Well, unfortunately the pilot didn't last to become a show.

There really isn't anything wrong with this pilot. The performances are so purposefully bad. Jack Black gives his best serious performance, which ends up seeming like a bad Shatner imitation. Christine Taylor's delivery is late 80s/early 90s stuff, like one of the girls off of Baywatch. Owen Wilson has a good voice, and Ron Silver plays Ron Silver to perfection. Even Ben Stiller has a small role as a DJ. The direction and writing is terrible, but in the context of this spoofy material, it's great.

As long as you know this is a spoof, it's funny. If you somehow missed this....well, it's hard to imagine someone missing that.

My rating: Great show. 31 mins. Not rated, contains some mild sexual content.
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9/10
Spotted another spoof in there too!
darrell-1925 December 2005
Hey, I noticed everyone spotted the spoof of Knight Rider, but did anyone pick up on this - the plot line about getting super powers from the sun after coming close to it in space is lifted straight from another doomed pilot show 'Northstar' - in which a NASA astronaut got hit in the face by a solar flare and then got super powers every time he looked at the sun! The original show I'm talking about was pretty bad... I remember the guy being shown a model of himself to explain what would happen if he stared at the sun for too long... and the model's brain caught fire... Oh, it was quite shocking. Check it out, trivia fans.
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Amazing Visual Effects!
HartfordHammer22 May 2003
...well, not really.

As far as I know, only one episode was made of this show, Episode 14. It's a fantastic bit of parody... of what, I do not know.

Some elements of the Fugitive, Knight Rider, and the Six Million Dollar Man all thrown into one wacky package.

Check it out if you can, but I had to download a crappy copy of it. Maybe it'll be a hidden DVD feature on some other Jack Black, Ben Stiller, and Owen Wilson project.
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10/10
Great show, up there with the best of tenacious d and ben stiller
m-h76 May 2003
What can be said about Heat Vision and Jack? It's great, it's not good, in any way! But very funny. You have Jack Ausin (Jack Black), a NASA astronaut, who become supersmart in sunlight, because he came to near the sun during a NASA mission. He's buddy (Owen Wilson) has been transformed into a motorcycle. And they are being chased by a NASA hitman, Ron Silver (playing himself). And it's all being directed by Ben stiller.

Great if you like Tenacious D and Ben Stiller's wacky humour.
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10/10
Hilarious!
planktonrules18 June 2020
I have no idea why Ben Stiller and the cast made this fake TV show...but I would sure love to see more parodies like it. It's a single episode of a pretend series (episode 14!) that is much like a mash-up between "The Six Million Dollar Man", "Knight Rider" and a lot of LSD!!

The show starts with a wonderful introduction by director/executive producer Ben Stiller. What follows is a ridiculous TV program that is so funny AND terrible at the same time. Here's the set-up. Jack (Jack Black) is an ex-astronaut who apparently flew too close to the sun. It resulted in his becoming, during the day, three times smarter than the smartest person in the world! But NASA wants Jack's brain...so they sent evil secret agent/tv actor Ron Silver to murder Jack and steal his mega-brain!! To top this off, an alien (Vincent Schiavelli) has just arrived on Earth and uses its evil green glowy eyes to disintegrate the foolish humans!! While the combination of Schiavelli and Silver seem insurmountable, Jack has the help of his beloved friend, Heat Vision--a sentient motorcycle who used to be Jack's roommate (the voice of Owen Wilson)!

Does all this sound insane and ultra-bizarre?! Of course...but also very funny and a great parody of some of the most ridiculous TV shows in history. It's simply the sort of thing you need to SEE to believe. Very funny and worth seeing...and it's currently on YouTube. It works so well because it really captures the awfulness and stupidity of some old TV shows. And, if you like this parody, you might also want to find "Kung Fury" (on Netflix, YouTube and many other places)...a hilarious recent sendoff to bad 80s movies and video games.
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10/10
Classic
metalliplasty28 January 2004
Jack Black is the man, and Owen Wilson and Ben Stiller rock. This show was awesome. I really wish they would have made a few more episodes, though I doubt sincerely that it would have done well in the ratings. If no other reason, than this show is great because it featured a clip of Doctor Who, and played Metallica. These are a few of my favorite things. When the dog bites.... ahem, well, you get the idea. Funny, silly, and stupid. Can't ask for much more.
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10/10
Hilarity is power - for real
strangefruit-918711 October 2017
Do you love the fake trailers before Tropic Thunder as much as I do? Then this is your thing.

"Heat Vision and Jack" is a parody on shows like Knight Rider, The 6,000,000 $ Man or the old Doctor Who episodes, especially when it comes to the special effects. Jack Austin (Jack Black) is a renegade astronaut who gained his super powers of superhuman knowledge when his brain was baked as his rocket ship came too close to the sun; therefore he is now hunted by the evil NASA, personified by Ron Silver as himself. Jack's only friend is his motorbike Heat Vision (voiced by Owen Wilson), who once was his room mate Doug, who was once merged with his motorbike by a laser beam weapon by Ron Silver.

Why the hell does Jack call the motorbike not Doug, but Heat Vision? Where did Ron Silver get his superpowers? It's this brazen impudence to refuse giving answers that makes this show so priceless. The special effects are an unbounded cheek for the late Nineties, but, like the "vintage" looks and the cheap lighting choices, it adds to the whole thing. The same goes for dialogue lines like "The human brain isn't unlike cookie dough", "Is that blood? - "The blood of tomatoes!" or "Quiet! I can't see the road when you talk!".

This and the delicious overacting of all involved. At first chubby Jack Black seems like an odd choice for a renegade hero, lonely and melancholic, the ladies fall for. Actually he's the perfect choice, as he nails the heroic looks and poses to the point. Every inch of him says, look at me, I'm a victim of fate, I'm lonely and on the run, but dang, I'm such a bad ass hero. Plus him reacting to pain like the alien laser beams is so Shatner-esque I cried with laughter.

Just like the trailers from Tropic Thunder, I'm not sure "Heat Vision and Jack" would've worked as a full thing, a TV show in this case. Since it says "episode 14" in the credits, I suspect it might have been devised as a one-off by the makers, esp. Ben Stiller who produced and directed it. But like those trailers, this short left me craving for more. It's working on a similar genius level. May only work for a special kind of humour, but if you love Tropic Thunder or Tenacious D, you're in for a huge huge treat.
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8/10
This had to be a spoof... it's reads "Episode 14" at the beginning...
t-rob-11 March 2009
I would probably watch this show if it were real... because it's pretty funny.

Not as funny as Tropic Thunder, mind you... but what is? This almost seems like a joke pilot made for fun. It's "episode 14" too, so that should tell you something.

The cast is interesting... a lot of the same players who do appear together in a lot of stuff... (Night at the Museum -- Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson... Tropic Thunder -- Ben Stiller and Jack Black)... it's quite possible these are all friends who just wanted to make a funny movie pilot.

If I had as much money as they do, I'd still have to find some time to do some stuff not for profit... but for fun -- that's how you keep your goals in check and not purely based on how much money your next gig pays... keeps you straight, in line with your actual creative goals.
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10/10
Not ordering this series was one of Fox's greatest mistakes.
cheesecollector11 July 2022
Heat Vision and Jack is the silly, unpretentious, and consistently funny pilot to an exploitation TV show that sadly was not ordered by Fox. It has an over-the-top and bizarrely-specific premise, and every participant in its making appears to have had endless fun during it. The music, cheesy 1980s-style special effects, voiceover narration, and great use of Ron Silver as a sinister version of himself are the makings of a "trash" TV masterpiece.

After explaining his origin in the intro, Jack Black again regals us with the backstory of... Jack the astronaut, and his trusty, sentient motorcycle, Heat Vision (Owen Wilson). To explain more would spoil the fun of viewing my favorite thing Ben Stiller has ever done for the first time. It's quite tempting to do so... Heat Vision and Jack must be seen to be believed.
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4/10
Got here via Harmontown
TheInevitableHulk3 May 2020
One definition of Arch - 2a: MISCHIEVOUS, SAUCY b: marked by a deliberate and often forced playfulness, irony, or impudence c:Heat Vision and Jack
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I saw this at a film festival...
droop1 July 2003
made entirely of brilliant TV pilots (called "The Network") that were never picked up and this was by far the best. I couldn't stop laughing. It's a real tragedy the show didn't get any air time -- I bet if Jack Black and Owen Wilson switched places it would have been huge.
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9/10
Fantastic!!
ceige-4818422 October 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Great parody of bad TV with solid story and great/bad effects! Jack Black during his Mr. Show days and pre Tenacious D this is pure parody of bad TV (like Knight Rider and 6 million dollar man) also Ben stiller off his much unappreciated and brilliant Ben Stiller Show. And also Dan Harmon before Community and Rick and Morty, you can see the early touches like the 4th wall breaking by Ron Silver and the complete acceptance of the jail guide dog to Jack Blacks complete command of dog whistles language with all of it's intricacies and absolutely no use of the tired trope of just giving him a treat .
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8/10
One of those things where hearing about it doesn't tell you anything
ian-46213 August 2005
I thought it sounded interesting when I first read about it. Then I saw it. It's like Lovecraft funny. Like "human language is inadequate to describe the horror blah blah" funny.

It's like every action/adventure show EVER packed into a half hour, but the most obvious comparisons would have to be "X-files" and "Knight Rider." (Heat Vision is KITT) The only thing I didn't like was Owen Wilson's flat reading of Heat Vision's lines. And even that wasn't bad the whole time.

So why didn't it make it on TV? It's a half-hour live-action comedy without a laugh track. How many of those have EVER made it? (Apparantly people need to be told when it's funny.)
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4/10
I wouldn't watch a series
Horst_In_Translation14 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
"Heat Vision and Jack" was a half-hour pilot for a television show that was never made. it looked like a science-fiction superhero approach to the idea of "Knight Rider". I couldn't care less though. Admittedly I may be a bit biased as I do not see real acting talent in Jack Black and science fiction is not my preferred genre at all, but still I hoped this one here would be better. One reason for that may be that I actually really like Ben Stiller's works as a director. Here, it just did not really work though. The lead actress was as forgettable as Black with his usual shtick and the action did not have me glued to the screen either. I am not angry at all that this was not turned into a series. Way better shows did not get picked up in the past. Not recommended.
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4/10
Kind of stupid, but insightful and funny
BlackVelvet8829 July 2006
Warning: Spoilers
The first word I thought about after watching this was "ugh." No offense to Ben Stiller, who I actually like, but I've got to say, it could have a LOT better.

First of all, the villain was a little out of control. It had a stereotyped "robotic" tone to it. I could see why he called humans "monkey-sluts," but why and how would an alien even know the name of a strip club? And honestly, Jack Austin (Jack Black) could have figured out a better way to escape jail. If he had a doggy whistle with him all along, gosh, it doesn't need a super-sized brain (or the sun to power it) to use it in the first place.

But I must say, it had some very creative insights. Heat Vision's (Owen Wilson) opinion about a round universe was widely in-depth. Whoever this Doug was, he mustn't have been such a dummy after all. And Jack's connection to the sun with his rival-like urgings and speakings is totally out there. And Ben Stiller has more to show.

Still, my first reaction to it was "stupid." Plus, I'm not quite sure if I like the idea of a motorcycle that both swears AND gets turned on by women. It was pretty funny, I'll give it that. But the only reason to watch this and actually enjoy it, I think, would have to be if you're really, really, really, bored and in desperate need of an action film.
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