Big Nothing (2006)
Simon Pegg: Gus
Photos
Quotes
-
[repeated line]
Gus : Okey-dokey!
-
Reverend Smalls : [as he catches Gus sneaking around his house] Who the hell are you?
Gus : [stammers] Er... I'm the guy that's here to collect the money.
Reverend Smalls : Give me your gun!
Gus : I don't have one!
Reverend Smalls : You've come to get money from me and you ain't packing?
[pause]
Reverend Smalls : Give my regards to the big bearded guy!
Gus : You don't mean Santa Claus, do ya?
[the old man points the gun at Gus as Gus closes his eyes; three loud gunshots are heard]
-
Gus : Who the hell are you?
Mrs. Smalls : Considering that I live here, young man, the question is, "Who the hell are you?"
-
Gus : Welcome to hell, dickhead!
-
Gus : [sees Charlie looking at the Jesus statuette teary-eyed] What are you doing?
Charlie : He's crying. Jesus, Gus, he's crying for what we've done, for our sin.
Gus : [looks at the statuette, sees the "tears", then looks up at the ceiling]
Charlie : [starts crossing himself] Jesus. Hail Mary, full of grace...
Gus : [interrupting Charlie] Bathtub.
[points above to the ceiling]
Charlie : [looks at the ceiling and sees the crack where water is dripping from; jumps to his feet] GOD... dammit! Is that part of your plan? Huh? After you kill somebody you take a nice hot bath?
Gus : I didn't kill anybody, first of all! Second, I don't go around praying to leaky ceilings!
-
Charlie : [as they're leaving the reverend's house] Wait... Wait... Wait!
Gus : [excitedly] No no no no no no no! Rule number four: Never return to the scene of the crime!
Charlie : [calmly] It's Josie's card, I left it by the phone.
Gus : [stares at him blankly for a second] Rule number five, if your partner turns out to be an idiot, forget rule number four.
-
Gus : [disbelievingly] You shot me.
Agent Hymes : That's the first true thing you've said yet.
-
Computer Operator at Call Centre : We take over 200,000 calls a day! Some of the biggest corporations in the country...
[Camera pans to reveal three separate call center workers all named Melanie reading a closing script to callers]
Charlie : Do you only hire women named Melanie?
Computer Operator at Call Centre : [laughs] It's a trick of the trade, callers like to think they get the same service rep. This is the Melanie and John section, and you are over here with the Jennifers and Stephens, this is you.
[Points to a call center desk]
Charlie : What do you mean this is me, I was told I had a supervisor position.
Computer Operator at Call Centre : [laughs condescendingly] You gotta spend six months in the trenches before you can interview for supervisor.
Charlie : But I have a PhD, surely......
Computer Operator at Call Centre : Look, do you want the job or not?
Charlie : Yeah.
Computer Operator at Call Centre : Great! Gus here will help get you started. K, Stephen?
Charlie : Uh, It's Charlie.
Computer Operator at Call Centre : [laughs and walks away] Sure it is!
Gus : [Taking a call] In the file menu, do you see where it says open? Can you open the open menu? Okie-dokie, again my name is Stephen, thank you for calling Sentel. You have a great day.
[Hangs up]
Charlie : [Narrating] I actually liked Gus at first sight.
Gus : Welcome to Hell dickhead.
Charlie : I'm sorry?
[Thinking]
Charlie : Well, maybe not at first sight.
Gus : Hell! People hooked up to machines like slaves, and the smell
[sniffs]
Gus : It's pure underarm.
Charlie : So, what do we do here?
Gus : [the phone rings, and Gus answers] Sentel Online, Stephen speaking, how may I help you? Okie-Dolkie mam, have you checked to see if your PC is on?
[Gets presumably cussed out by the caller]
Gus : No mam, I'm not a retard that's simply the protocol - sorry! Olkie-Dolkie, I'm gonna check that with my supervisor real quick, and uh, I'm gonna put you on hold.
[Puts the call on hold]
Gus : You feel feisty you whiney little turkey-necked bitch? Why don't you hop up on my dick and bounce and see if that fires up your monitor SWEETHEART?
[Picks up]
Gus : Hi mam, thanks for holding. Listen, I'm gonna transfer you over to our Technical Service Department, olkie-dolkie? Please hold.
[Puts her on hold]
Gus : In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed dwarf is king.
[Smiles at Charlie]
