3rd Rock from the Sun (TV Series)
Assault with a Deadly Dick (1996)
John Lithgow: Dr. Dick Solomon
Quotes
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Dr. Dick Solomon : This planet has crossed the line. Assemble the giant robot!
Sally Solomon : We didn't pack it... . I wanted to, but you needed the room for your exercise bike. Which, I might add, you never use.
[she pats his midsection for emphasis]
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Dr. Dick Solomon : Your chirpy optimism has no place in reality. Guess what? Santa Claus is dead! Beaten senseless for his shiny black boots and his reindeer don't give a damn!
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Dr. Dick Solomon : What kind of place is this where you can't wave handfuls of money around in the middle of the night?
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Officer Don : Okay Mr. Solomon. It's time to finger your perp.
[Dick points at Mary]
Dr. Dick Solomon : Believe me I've tried but she just won't let me.
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[about the stolen car radio]
Sally Solomon : Wait a minute. I know what's happened here. You see it all the time on the news.
Dr. Dick Solomon : Uh, toupees?
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[referring to the mall]
Sally Solomon : I think the entire planet should be covered by one big roof.
Dr. Dick Solomon : And we should never be more than fifteen feet from a weenie on a stick.
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Dr. Dick Solomon : Tommy, look what I bought for you.
Tommy Solomon : A basketball?
Dr. Dick Solomon : I've decided that you should join your school's team.
Tommy Solomon : Why?
Dr. Dick Solomon : Because it's important that you experience the humiliation of adolescent boys at the hands of bitter adults trying to re-write the failures of their youth. It'll be fun.