Alfred Hitchcock Presents (TV Series)

Poison (1958)

Alfred Hitchcock: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [introduction, Hitchcock is sitting on a park bench reading a newspaper] 

  Himself - Host : Good evening. Here we are in orbit once again. Most of tonight's program will be taken up with a story called 'Poison'.

  [a hissing is heard and the camera cuts to Hitchcock's back pocket that happens to be...] 

  Himself - Host : A rattlesnake. It's a new warning device I've instituted to sound an alarm when a pickpocket is at work. He comes in several sizes, including very small ones for ladies' purses.

  [Hitchcock pokes at the rattlesnake making it hiss again] 

  Himself - Host : He's very alert. This is far superior to ordinary burglar alarms, for if the thief is foolhardy enough to put his hand in the pocket...

  [shrugs] 

  Himself - Host : There are a few bugs in it. Once when a thief put a hand in my pocket, the snake became confused and struck in the wrong direction. The doctor had to put a tourniquet around my stomach. Unfortunately, that proved to be the wrong stomach. It was the snake who died. I see that it is now what my sponsor calls 'high time' and here is what he thinks it is high time for.

• [afterword] 

  Himself - Host : For failing to call a doctor when his friend was bitten, Harry spent some little time in prison. Apparently, the snake couldn't keep his mouth shut, which reminds me - I believe it is time for another message. However, I shall be back.

  [commercial break] 

  Himself - Host : If you are interested in obtaining one of my pickpocket alarms...

  [reaches into his pocket] 

  Himself - Host : Good heavens. I've been robbed.

  [takes his hand out of the pocket in exasperation] 

  Himself - Host : Good night.