Alfred Hitchcock Presents (TV Series)

The $2,000,000 Defense (1958)

Alfred Hitchcock: Self - Host

Quotes 

• [introduction - Hitchcock is counting the horse's taps] 

  Self - Host : ...1,999,938, 1,999,939... So much for our story. Unfortunately, Lloyd Ashley had spent all of his money on his first murder trial. And when his trial for the shooting of Mark Robeson came along, he didn't have another two million dollars for a good lawyer. I believe that's 42. Or was it one m- Oh, well, I give u- I don't know how he does it without fingers. Now for something you can always count on, after which I'll be back.

  [commercial break, after which Hitchcock stands by a blackboard with a scientific equation] 

  Self - Host : Before our guest left, I discovered him scribbling on this blackboard. Frankly, I don't know how long we can hold our scientific superiority over the horse, but I think we better do something drastic. That is unless you relish the thought of suddenly finding yourselves on the wrong end of a plow or chasing each other around racetracks while the horses do the betting. And on this grim note, I must leave you until next week when I shall be back with another play. Until then, good night.

• [introduction - Hitchcock is sitting at a desk] 

  Self - Host : Good evening. My name is Alfred Hitchcock and the program is "Alfred Hitchcock Presents". In the interest of enlightening our audience, we are inaugurating a new policy for this portion of the program. From time to time, we plan to interview important figures in various fields. Tonight, we have with us one of the world's outstanding mathematicians. If you will, sir?

  [a horse walks on camera] 

  Self - Host : Good evening, sir. I shall begin the interrogation at once. My first question concerns a matter which has no doubt been bothering members of our audience for many years. How much is two and two?

  [the horse taps his hoof five times] 

  Self - Host : The opinions expressed by our guest are his own and in no way reflect my own views or those of my sponsor. And now, sir, what is your favorite television story?

  [the horse resumes tapping his hoof] 

  Self - Host : I think he's telling us that his favorite television play is "The $2,000,000 Defense", in which case, we're in for a very long time of it. Long enough, in fact, to show you "The $2,000,000 Defense". But first, my sponsor wishes to put his two cents in.