Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

Mrs. Slocombe Expects (1977)

Mollie Sugden: Mrs. Slocombe

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. Slocombe : [to Humphries and Lucas while angrily walking past them]  Men!

  Mr. Humphries : Well, don't look at me!

• Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : No, I'm sorry Mrs Slocombe, but I cannot acquiesce to your request.

  Mrs. Slocombe : But suppose she has them all alone, when I'm not there.

  Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : Well, can't you employ an aupair girl? Or better still, an au-purr girl.

  Mrs. Slocombe : [frowning]  I don't think that's very funny, Mr Rumbold. How would you like to be in a basket, jammed up against the radiator in an empty flat having kittens?

  Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : It would be a cat-astrophe!

  Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : [laughs]  Oh I am on form today!

  Mrs. Slocombe : Am I to take it that you refuse me permission to give my pussy facilities for her confinement?

  Mr. Cuthbert Rumbold : I'm afraid there's no... puss-ability!

  [laughs again] 

• Mrs. Slocombe : Sorry I'm late. The central heating broke down. I had to light the oven and hold my pussy in front of it. Poor little thing. Its tail had been hanging out of its basket all night long!

• Captain Peacock : [ordering Mr. Humphries and Mr. Lucas to get dressed and pretend to be customers]  Oh, and you don't have to use your own clothes, you can pick up something from the stockroom.

  [pause] 

  Captain Peacock : The gents' stockroom, Mr. Humphries.

  [walks across to the women's counter] 

  Captain Peacock : Is Miss Brahms ready yet?

  Mrs. Slocombe : I'll just call her.

  [Turns towards the fitting rooms] 

  Mrs. Slocombe : Miss Brahms?

  [Miss Brahms enters in a low-cut and short-skirted dress, while Mr Humphries and Mr Lucas give a vocal rendition of "The Stripper"] 

  Captain Peacock : Miss Brahms, you're supposed to be buying, not selling!