Are You Being Served? (TV Series)

Mrs. Slocombe Expects (1977)

Raymond Bowers: Cashmere Sweater Customer

Quotes 

• [Mr. Humphries is pretending to be a customer in order to subtly encourage sales] 

  Mr. Dick Lucas : [takes out a cashmere sweater]  Ah, there we are, sir. 30 pounds, just feel how soft they are.

  Mr. Humphries : Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing. How much, did you say?

  Sweater Customer : 30 pounds.

  Mr. Humphries : Oh, I say, aren't things a price?

  Mr. Dick Lucas : Worth every penny, sir.

  Mr. Humphries : And just the thing for this weather. I wish I could afford that.

  Sweater Customer : Yes, I'll take it. And how much are those silk squares?

  Mr. Dick Lucas : Oh, these are 10 pounds each, sir. They're pure silk, of course.

  Mr. Humphries : Oh, I wish I could afford that.

  Sweater Customer : I'll take that, as well.

  Mr. Dick Lucas : Oh, I say!

  Sweater Customer : Oh, and one of those hats.

  Mr. Dick Lucas : Ah, now these, sir, these are 16 pounds each. Of course, they are pure velour.

  Mr. Humphries : Oh, pure velour! I wish I could afford that.

  Sweater Customer : I'll take that, as well.

  Mr. Dick Lucas : Will there be anything further, sir?

  Sweater Customer : No, that'll do nicely.

  Mr. Dick Lucas : So, that is one cashmere sweater, one silk scarf, and one hat. That is 56 pounds, sir.

  Sweater Customer : [motions to Mr. Humphries]  And the same for my friend here.

  Mr. Humphries : I beg your pardon?

  Sweater Customer : Well, what else is money for? I'm rich, I live alone, and perhaps you'd like to come up to my place and have a drink.

  Mr. Humphries : [quickly]  Oh, I don't think I can afford that.