Frasier (TV Series)

Something Borrowed, Someone Blue: Part 1 (2000)

Kelsey Grammer: Dr. Frasier Crane

Photos 

Quotes 

• Daphne : Simon!

  Simon Moon : Hello, sis.

  Daphne : I thought you were in California.

  Simon Moon : Yeah, well, those friends I went to surprise were out of town. So I decided to housesit for 'em, which was lovely. 'Til they came home last night. I don't know what all the screaming was about, I was the one in the tub! Where should I put this bag?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : By the door so you don't forget it when you leave.

  Simon Moon : Right. I think I know everyone here.

  [spots Roz] 

  Simon Moon : Or do I? And what would your name be then, Miss?

  Roz Doyle : Simon, you low-life idiot! You made a date with me last week and you stood me up!

  Simon Moon : Sorry, love, I need a bit more to go on.

  Roz Doyle : Maybe this'll refresh your memory.

  [slams the door in his face] 

  Simon Moon : Roz! Of course!

• Simon Moon : Thank you Marty, it's most hospitable of you.

  Martin Crane : Well, you gotta have a place to stay...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Stop right there! He cannot stay here! The man is loud, ill-mannered, and the last time he stayed here he killed a ficus tree on the downstairs neighbor's balcony by means which are best left to the imagination!

• Roz Doyle : Going to a wedding with your boss is like going to the prom with your brother.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Niles and I did not go to the prom together! Our dates were sick and we went stag!

  Niles : In retrospect, we should have cancelled the horse-drawn carriage, but hindsight is 20-20.

• Daphne : [sobbing as she hugs Frasier]  I'm sorry to get so emotional like this.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : It's all right. The funeral must've really upset you.

  Daphne : It's not that. Dr. Crane? I've wanted to talk to you about this all week, but I haven't known what to say. You promise you'll keep this just between us?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Of course.

  Daphne : It's about your brother. You see, I know.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Know what?

  Daphne : I know about his feelings for me.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : My God! How did you find out?

  Daphne : It's not important.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Somebody blabbed, didn't they? Why can't people just mind their own business? Who was the nattering gossip? Roz? Dad?

  Daphne : You.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : What?

  Daphne : You were taking those pills for your back and you blurted it out while I was giving you a massage.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Oh, well, they were very strong pills, you see...

  Daphne : Needless to say, it completely took my breath away. At first, I tried to forget about it, put it out of my mind.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, the bottle said just to take one, but I'm a big man...

  Daphne : Oh, will you shut up about those pills?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

  Daphne : [continuing]  Anyway, after a while, I couldn't put it out of my mind anymore. I find myself thinking about him all the time.

  [Daphne starts sobbing once again] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Daphne... are you saying that you have feelings for Niles?

  Daphne : I think I do. Oh, I don't know! Even if I did, he may not feel that way about me anymore, he's with Mel now!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I-I don't know what to tell you, Daph. Uh, I, I, think the best thing is for you to, to try to find a way to talk with Niles.

  Daphne : Oh. That's not an easy conversation to have.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : It's easier now than after you're married.

  Daphne : You're right, I have to talk to him. And right away. I'm already making myself sick over this. If I leave it any longer, I'll be a complete basket case. Uh, did he mention if he was going home?

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Well, ah, actually, um, ah, he's going, ah, somewhere else first. Um...

  Daphne : Where?

• Dr. Frasier Crane : [speaking to Daphne, Niles and Roz]  I'm reminded of a parable...

  [door knock] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Daphne/Niles/Roz: Come in!

• Dr. Frasier Crane : Honestly Dad, when will you learn to take a hint?

  Martin Crane : I can't take a hint? Couldn't you see that Niles wanted to talk to you?

  [the elevator doors open as Frasier and Martin get on. Mrs. Richman is already on the elevator, presumably headed to the basement] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [continuing the conversation with Martin]  Well, whatever it is, it can wait

  Martin Crane : Oh, yeah! No big deal, he just got married, that's all!

  Dr. Frasier Crane : [stunned]  What?

  Martin Crane : He eloped with Mel yesterday.

  Mrs. Richman : Poor Daphne...

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Would you please keep out of this, Mrs. Richman?

  [to Martin] 

  Dr. Frasier Crane : We have got to get back up there.

  [Frasier presses a button] 

  Martin Crane : We're going to the basement.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : I can't wait that long!

  [the elevator door opens on a lower floor. Frasier rushes out of the elevator and up the stairs, leaving Martin behind] 

• Mrs. Richman : [upon learning that Niles has eloped with Mel]  Poor Daphne.

  Dr. Frasier Crane : Would you please keep out of this, Mrs. Richman?