George Lopez (TV Series)

Secrets and Lies (2003)

George Lopez: George Lopez

Photos 

Quotes 

• Max Lopez : Dad, Grandma says Grandpa has a tail. Does that mean I'm gonna grow a tail too?

  George Lopez : That depends on you, Max. It's under your skin right now and every time you lie, it grows a little bit more.

  Max Lopez : I broke Carmen's CD player.

  George Lopez : You just bought yourself another day, monkey boy.

• George Lopez : Mom, I told you to stay in the car!

  Benny : [drunk]  You don't tell me what to do, I wiped your butt.

  George Lopez : Where are you going?

  Benny : To the bathroom!

  George Lopez : Well hurry up!

  Benny : Don't tell me how to pee!

• Angie Lopez : [to the kids about Benny]  Grandma drank too much yesterday. Alcohol is basically a poison and if you drink too much, you get sick.

  Max Lopez : What if you drink just the right amount?

  George Lopez : Nobody knows what the right amount is, Max. It's somewhere between the first sip and drinking milk directly from a cow.

• Benny : George, I fell and everybody saw me.

  George Lopez : Yeah, but you were drunk. It was just like Aunt Rita's wedding all over again except this time you had underwear on!

• Gina : Tell me, George. Does Benny need help going to the bathroom? Taking a shower? Is it humiliating?

  George Lopez : You know, I don't know why you two hate each other so much. Someday, you could run hell together.

• George Lopez : [to Angie after she took Benny to the "fake doctor"]  Okay, what did the doctor say?

  Angie Lopez : Whatever your mom wants him to say. She has soft tissue damage in the lumbar region. And if we want, I have chronic fatigue syndrome, you have post-traumatic stress disorder, Max has postpartum depression and Carmen has hysterical mood swings. Although, he may have gotten that one right by accident.