Get Smart (TV Series)

The Little Black Book: Part 1 (1968)

Don Adams: Maxwell Smart

Quotes 

• Maxwell Smart : Max, pussycat!

  Maxwell Smart : Sid, it's good to see you again. You haven't changed a bit, how long has it been now?

  Sid Krimm : 15 years! You forgot? Seoul, Korea, 1952. Don't you remember? We said if we both lived through this we'd get together again, huh, pal? Well, we almost didn't make it.

  Maxwell Smart : Yeah, that was a tough bar, Sid.

• Maxwell Smart : Don't play dumb with me sister, I happen to be an expert at that.

• Maxwell Smart : [on regular phone at home]  Listen, 99, are you free tonight?

  # 99 : [on phone in Larabee's office]  Oh, well I'm sitting in for Larabee but he should be back soon. What did you have in mind?

  Maxwell Smart : Oh, I don't know, I thought a few drinks, a little dancing, maybe a late supper.

  # 99 : I'd love that! Shall I pick you up as usual?

  Maxwell Smart : Eh, well it's not exactly that way, 99, you see eh, there's a buddy of mine in town and eh, well he asked me if I could get him a date and I thought if you weren't doing anything tonight...

  # 99 : But Max...

  Maxwell Smart : Oh, one more thing, 99, I wonder if you could get a girl for me while you're at it. Nothing special, about 5"2"", blond hair, blue eyes.

  Maxwell Smart : [99 hangs up angrily]  99?

• Maxwell Smart : [Sid has pressed a button making the ceiling net fall down on him and Max]  Look Sid, you can go up in my bedroom and sleep in my bed, the sofa's a little tricky.

  Sid Krimm : The sofa's a little tricky? What's in the bed, quicksand?

• Maxwell Smart : Well, that's all I can tell ya, Sid. I work for the government and I'm on a secret mission. You believe me, don't ya?

  Sid Krimm : I believe ya.

  [picks up a book titled 'Spy stories that never grow old'] 

  Sid Krimm : You read a lot of these spy books. Cloak and Dagger stuff.

  Maxwell Smart : No more than anyone else who works for the government on secret missions.

• Maxwell Smart : Wait a minute, Sid, those girls look like KAOS.

  Sid Krimm : Yeah, yeah, chaos!

  Maxwell Smart : You don't understand what I'm talking about, they look like spies.

  Sid Krimm : Sure, sure they're spies. Maybe one of them will try to kiss me to death and I'll have to sign for help.

• Maxwell Smart : I don't understand you Sid, I'm a secret agent. I have to go. But what's your angle?

  Sid Krimm : What do you mean what's my angle? I wanna defend my country too. And you happen to be my buddy. And besides, I happen to know that every secret agent gets all the broads.

• Maxwell Smart : Gina Mittusi. For heaven's sake, I haven't seen you in a long time.

  Gina : We've never met, Mr. Smart.

  Maxwell Smart : That long, eh?