Hogan's Heroes (TV Series)

Hogan Goes Hollywood (1969)

Larry Hovis: Carter

Quotes 

• Major Byron Buckles : I don't quite understand, chaps. I mean, my record is perfect. Appeared three times in two years at the Hollywood Canteen.

  Col. Hogan : My men are upset with you, Buckles, doing a propaganda film for the Germans.

  Major Byron Buckles : They are? But it sounded like such a good part.

  Col. Hogan : Get him out of here, Schultz!

  Sgt. Schultz : My orders are to remain with this man at all times! At all times!

  Col. Hogan : [sarcastically]  I'm very happy for both of you! But be together somewhere else! We got work to do!

  Sgt. Schultz : Work to do? What kind of work...? Please, don't tell me.

  Major Byron Buckles : Wait a minute, Hogan, I'm beginning to get your drift. You mean that, uh, public relations-wise, it might be bad for my image to make this film.

  Col. Hogan : It's Colonel Hogan, and I couldn't care less!

  Major Byron Buckles : I like that. I like that. I like a man who looks after my interests. Very well, Hogan. I won't do it.

  Col. Hogan : Wait a minute. Do it. I'll be the director.

  Major Byron Buckles : What?

  Newkirk : Hold on, Colonel.

  LeBeau : Why?

  Carter : Colonel... you're gonna direct a German propaganda movie?

  Col. Hogan : That's right.

  Sgt. Schultz : Excuse me. Colonel Hogan, I know from experience when you decide to do something, which looks good for the Germans, it's bad for the Germans, am I right?

  Col. Hogan : Uh, keep going, Schultz.

  Sgt. Schultz : Now, what's bad for the Germans, you're about to explain to my personal charge, the movie star Major.

  Col. Hogan : Yes, it's possible.

  Sgt. Schultz : But I have strict orders NOT TO LET HIM OUT OF MY SIGHT!

  Col. Hogan : What do you think you should do, Schultz?

  Sgt. Schultz : I know nothing! I see nothing! Nothing!