Hogan's Heroes (TV Series)

The Meister Spy (1971)

Bob Crane: Col. Hogan

Quotes 

• Major Martin : [in disbelief]  You're an American.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Someone around here has to be.

• Major Martin : [talking into a phone in Col. Klink's office]  I suggest you call your top Intelligence people immediately to get my report.

  Col. Klink : So you are really German? You know, the moment you came in, I said to myself, "That American officer's a German agent." I could sense it.

  Major Martin : One hour? Good. Yes, the Tempelhof Hotel tonight at 9:00. I'll arrange transportation from here from Colonel Klinkel.

  Col. Klink : Klink! K-L-I...

  Major Martin : Oh, it was really quite simple. I cut a few lines, the plane lost power, and then I directed them to a field that I previously selected. The fools even considered me a hero.

  Lieutenant J.B. Miller : [listening in with Col. Hogan and his crew, enraged]  Major Martin, a German spy. Boy, that...

  [attempts to leave, but Col. Hogan holds him back] 

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Hold it. Hold it. That's not gonna do any good.

  LeBeau : There's nothing we can do.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : [sighs]  Maybe there is.

  Major Martin : Hi Hitler.

  Col. Klink : Fascinating. You know, I should be an espionage worker. I have a great talent for it. Even as a boy, I used to write messages in invisible ink.

  [pause] 

  Col. Klink : Lemon juice.

  Major Martin : Colonel, you never asked for my credentials.

  Col. Klink : Ah, there's no need for it. As I told you, I knew the very minute...

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : That's it. Baker, I'm gonna need a phone tap. Miller, listen to everything he says. Carter...

  [motions for Carter to come closer] 

  Major Martin : You heard me, Colonel, I require a car. Have it ready in 15 minutes.

  Col. Klink : As a matter of fact, I could even attend the meeting with you.

  Major Martin : Where can I wash up?

  Col. Klink : Oh, use my quarters. You know, I could be of great help to your espionage work. From my study of Allied prisoners, I could even get a small, little talk. Something about "know your enemy"...

  [Strausser walks into Klink's quarters and slams the door in Klink's face] 

• Herr Mayerink : [opening the door to his apartment]  Herr Strasser.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Heii Hitler. This is my partner, Johann Cater, very good friend of the fatherland. He's been most helpful.

  Herr Mayerink : Come in, please. These are my key people, Fraulein Kissinger, and Herr Schneer.

  [Schneer salutes] 

  Herr Mayerink : This, of course, Herr Strasser, and Herr Carter.

  [Hogan and Carter salute] 

  Herr Mayerink : Now you say you have new about the new Allied offensive.

  Herr Schneer : One moment, Herr Mayerink. I have followed your career in great detail, Herr Strasser.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : That's very flattering.

  Herr Schneer : I even recall that you once had a hunting accident. Lost the tip of a thumb, I believe. Which thumb was that, Herr Strasser? The right, or the left? Well, Herr Strasser?

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : You have an excellent memory, Herr Schneer, excellent. But thanks to some fine German surgery, you can't really tell which, can you?

  [takes his hands out of his pocket and holds up both his thumbs] 

  Herr Mayerink : Now, you say the enemy is planning to attack.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Yes. Wednesday evening through the south sector.

  [gives Mayerink a piece of paper] 

  Herr Mayerink : We have not observed any visual activity in the south.

  Herr Schneer : Doesn't seem possible. Are you quite sure?

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Would I have taken this extreme method of getting through if I wasn't absolutely certain?

  Herr Schneer : Still...

  Herr Mayerink : I think we can assume Herr Strasser's information is correct. He has a very high source.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Incidentally, about my contact...

  Herr Mayerink : If you'll excuse me, it is urgent that I order our forces to move south immediately. Enjoy our refreshments.

  [leaves] 

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : At last, we meet, Fraulein.

  [kisses her hand and looks at her ring] 

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Hmm. Exquisite. Might I examine it under the light?

  Fraulein Kissinger : Certainly.

  [they walk over to the lamp, Carter is sitting nearby] 

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Hmm. Very unusual. It's an Amsterdam cut. Have you examined the stone, Herr Schneer?

  Herr Schneer : Uh, not in any detail.

  [Kissinger walks over to Schneer to have him examine the ring. Schneer takes out his glasses] 

  Fraulein Kissinger : Oh, you really must see it under the light.

  Herr Schneer : [as he examines, Carter takes pictures of the ring with a hidden camera in his coat]  Yes, it could be Amsterdam or possibly...

  Herr Mayerink : [returns]  We have six divisions moving south, thanks to your excellent report.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Danke Dir.

  Herr Mayerink : Now, we have a little surprise for you.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Oh?

  Herr Mayerink : The double agent Fraulein Wessler, she is here in this hotel.

  [gives Colonel Hogan a set of hotel keys] 

  Herr Mayerink : I know you two are very close. So, take a few minutes. You have earned it. She says you are the one man she could never forget.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Herr Mayerink, I don't what to say. You're too kind.

  Herr Mayerink : We are in a harsh service, but we, too are human. Go.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : It's too good to be true.

  [walks towards the door to leave, but stops] 

  Herr Mayerink : What is it?

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : I can't do it. I made a pledge that I would not seek my happiness as long as our gallant men were still fighting. That not until der Fuhrer was sitting victoriously in the White House. Only then, will I look in Fraulein Wessler's eyes again.

  [gives the keys back to Mayerink] 

  Herr Mayerink : I understand.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Yes, well, I must be going. They've arranged my escape. I must get back to London and my duty.

  Herr Mayerink : You've done an excellent job.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : One more thing. Herr Schneer seems uncertain. He probably would like to know who my contact in London is. Perhaps you could explain it to him.

  Herr Mayerink : I'd be glad to. Herr Strausser's contact in Allied Headquarters is... is so high-placed, that his identity cannot be divulged. I do not know myself. And Herr Strasser can reveal this information to no one. Except in the presence of Herr Kappleman himself in Berlin. These are orders, Herr Schneer. I'm sorry.

• Lieutenant J.B. Miller : You're going to a German intelligence meeting?

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : I really had nothing else to do tonight. It is nice to get out of the house once in a while.