Hogan's Heroes (TV Series)

The Meister Spy (1971)

Dave Morick: Lieutenant J.B. Miller

Quotes 

• Major Martin : [talking into a phone in Col. Klink's office]  I suggest you call your top Intelligence people immediately to get my report.

  Col. Klink : So you are really German? You know, the moment you came in, I said to myself, "That American officer's a German agent." I could sense it.

  Major Martin : One hour? Good. Yes, the Tempelhof Hotel tonight at 9:00. I'll arrange transportation from here from Colonel Klinkel.

  Col. Klink : Klink! K-L-I...

  Major Martin : Oh, it was really quite simple. I cut a few lines, the plane lost power, and then I directed them to a field that I previously selected. The fools even considered me a hero.

  Lieutenant J.B. Miller : [listening in with Col. Hogan and his crew, enraged]  Major Martin, a German spy. Boy, that...

  [attempts to leave, but Col. Hogan holds him back] 

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : Hold it. Hold it. That's not gonna do any good.

  LeBeau : There's nothing we can do.

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : [sighs]  Maybe there is.

  Major Martin : Hi Hitler.

  Col. Klink : Fascinating. You know, I should be an espionage worker. I have a great talent for it. Even as a boy, I used to write messages in invisible ink.

  [pause] 

  Col. Klink : Lemon juice.

  Major Martin : Colonel, you never asked for my credentials.

  Col. Klink : Ah, there's no need for it. As I told you, I knew the very minute...

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : That's it. Baker, I'm gonna need a phone tap. Miller, listen to everything he says. Carter...

  [motions for Carter to come closer] 

  Major Martin : You heard me, Colonel, I require a car. Have it ready in 15 minutes.

  Col. Klink : As a matter of fact, I could even attend the meeting with you.

  Major Martin : Where can I wash up?

  Col. Klink : Oh, use my quarters. You know, I could be of great help to your espionage work. From my study of Allied prisoners, I could even get a small, little talk. Something about "know your enemy"...

  [Strausser walks into Klink's quarters and slams the door in Klink's face] 

• Lieutenant J.B. Miller : You're going to a German intelligence meeting?

  Col. Robert E. Hogan : I really had nothing else to do tonight. It is nice to get out of the house once in a while.