Home Improvement (TV Series)

Reel Men (1994)

Richard Karn: Al Borland

Quotes 

• Al Borland : [after Tim has fallen through the ice]  I can't believe that you came up here without an change of clothes.

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Well, I didn't intend on falling through the ice, Al.

  Al Borland : Everyone knows that when you come on a trip like this, you have to plan for every possible contingency. And with you, every contingency is possible.

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Well, this "contingency" is your fault.

  Al Borland : Fine. Just lucky that I brought an extra set of clothes.

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : [sarcastically]  Oh, yeah, real lucky.

  [stands up and is wearing a red flannel shirt and blue jeans that are too big for him] 

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : What is this, one size fits Al?

• Al Borland : [after Tim has fallen through the ice]  You know, Tim, I was hoping that on this trip we would be able to bond and talk on a more personal level.

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : How much more personal can it get? I'm wearing your underwear.

  Al Borland : What I meant was, talk about our hopes, our fears...

  [pauses as Tim fishes through the pocket of his wet jeans] 

  Al Borland : You didn't lose the car keys, did you?

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : [looks to Al]  Hope I didn't... but I fear I did.

  [they look towards the hole in the ice; Tim points] 

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Do you wanna go in? I've already been in.

• Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : [while chiseling a hole through ice for ice fishing he accidentally knocks Al's chisel through the ice]  Were you real attached to that chisel?

  Al Borland : [realises what's happened]  Tim, that-- that chisel's been in my family for *generations*! That was handed down to me by my great-grandfather, Hal Borland!

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Well, it's not like it was new.

• Al Borland : [Tim is fiddling with the heater]  What are you doing?

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : I'm using my know-how to double the heat out of this thing.

  Al Borland : Would that be the same know-how you used to double the size of the hole?

• [Tim and Al arrive at Marv's ice fishing shanty] 

  Al Borland : [opens the door; excitedly]  Oh, this is *great*!

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : [looks around the shanty]  This is Marv's idea of a vacation? Remind me not to use his travel agent.

  Al Borland : I think this is paradise on ice!

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Well, why don't you unpack and I'll putter around here in the living room?

  [unpacks a bag] 

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : Got my hot rod magazines... radio... and my own personal TV.

  Al Borland : You brought a TV?

  Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor : You bet. Maybe we can watch Gilligan's Island, see how seven people feel about being stranded in the middle of nowhere.