Home Improvement (TV Series)

The Colonel (1994)

Patricia Richardson: Jill Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• The Colonel : [aggravated]  All right, you didn't like the book. I'm gonna get the boys. We'll be back at 1300 hours.

  Tim : What time is that?

  The Colonel : It's 1:00. Why is that so difficult for you to understand? Every private in the army gets it by the end of the first day.

  Jill : Daddy, I'm sorry I upset you, but...

  The Colonel : I'm not upset. IF I WERE UPSET, I'D BE YELLING.

• Jill : When we were growing up, we weren't allowed to tell you anything that might upset you.

  The Colonel : Oh really? Then why the hell was I upset so much?

• Jill : We're not your soldiers, Dad.

  The Colonel : Damn right. My soldiers were under control. Then I'd come home to your mother and you five girls and I NEVER KNEW WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON.