This is the story of Bart Slater, a real problem child. After being kicked out of countless other schools, he would be attending the one in Walnut Grove, and he made quite an impression on his first day. After claiming a desk as his own and pushing the other kid out, Bart sat back as Miss Wilder began teaching the kids about what effects a full moon can have on people's brains, hence the term "lunatic," and even mentions the origins of the werewolf. She shows the class the book Werewolf, written by the same guy who wrote Onward Christian Soldiers, that song they sing in every church scene. After that, Clarence shows off his talents in paper mache and when Bart is asked to help in the demonstration, he makes a real mess, particularly of Clarence. However, when he is ordered to apologize to the boy, Bart offers him $1.00 to make some paper mache animals for him. After school, Bart harassed Laura and Albert, and when young Mr. Ingalls referred to the bully by his full name, he punched him. What a punk. Fortunately, Almanzo saw the fight and broke it up, probably because he saw Laura was involved, if not, he might not have paid it any mind. So what did Big Bad Bart do? He went and told his daddy on him! So Bart Sr. came riding into town, and right away the fat bastard got in Almanzo's face and threatened Eliza Jane's job... I can see where Bart learned to be such a douche. Speaking of whom, the pleasant young fellow continued harassing and bullying the other students and Miss Wilder finally sent him to the corner. He wouldn't have it, he challenged the teacher right in front of the class, reducing Eliza Jane to a sobbing mess because she has no backbone.
Once again, it was Charles Ingalls to the rescue (honestly, how did Walnut Grove ever survive without him?) He confronted Bart Sr., who believed his son's false alibi, because he's an idiot. Almanzo wanted to solve this problem with raw aggression, but Eliza Jane suggested they call Bart Sr.'s bluff and bring this matter before the school board, and as you may have guessed, Harriet sided with him because he tossed a few bucks their way. So, the vote for Bart's expulsion was tied, Charles and Doc Baker voting for, Harriet and Nellie... WHY is Nellie on the school board? They voted against and because of that, Bart stayed in school. Never have I wanted to throw Harriet through a window as much as I do now. Hope comes in the form of Albert, however, having borrowed Eliza Jane's werewolf book and devising a little scheme to make ol' Bart crap his pants in fear. Albert tended to building a fake rock, while Laura went out and stole a man's beard (I'm serious). Oh and in case you were wondering, Bart stiffed Clarence out of his dollar. Okay, episode, we get it, he's a deplorable piece of human garbage. What's he going to do next, kick a puppy? So as Eliza Jane prepared to leave town, Laura, Albert and Clarence began preparations for Operation: Full Moon. The plan took off without a hitch...and sadly, it didn't work. Oh, Albert was magnificent as a werewolf, very convincing, as were Laura and Clarence, they exposed Bart's true cowardice as he begged for his life and everything was going fine, UNTIL that little mistake Carrie came out and exposed the entire hoax! Hate Carrie, hate Carrie, I hate Carrie! So Albert got his ass kicked again. With no other alternative, Laura hit upon a great idea! Time to use the odds to their advantage and team up against that bully. And so they all ganged up on Bart and jumped him, giving him a good, sound beating. Afterwords, he apologized to Eliza Jane and asked her to stay on, and so all was well again.
Remember the Galendars from Season 3's "The Bully Boys"? They seemed like nice guys compared to Bart and his father. This episode is very frustrating to watch, I must say. Not much to like about it, but plenty to hate. You'll hate Bart, you'll hate his father, you'll hate Mrs. Oleson, and you'll hate Carrie, though you will feel bad for Albert, even if you don't like him. I also felt bad fro Eliza Jane, a character I normally despise, but she looked so vulnerable when that toe-headed rat was pushing her around. Todd Thompson was great as Bart, Sandy Ward was great as Bart Sr., two characters we never see or hear from again, thank God! Mathew Laborteaux was great as Albert, and Lindsay and Sidney Greenbush sucked as Carrie, just like always. This episode is anger inducing from start to finish. There have been some horrible characters on this show before, but... man, these guys can get you riled up! I love to hate Harriet, and here I did it more than ever, and why was that bitch Nellie on the school board? Well there was a scene explaining it that syndication raped out of it. I wouldn't really recommend this one, but Albert's werewolf prank is definitely worth seeing at least once. Make of it what you will, but don't watch it if you're looking for a pick-me-up.
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