M*A*S*H (TV Series)

Cementing Relationships (1980)

Jamie Farr: Cpl. Maxwell Q. Klinger

Quotes 

• Cpl. Maxwell Klinger : [Charles is painting a caution sign]  How come you got the easy job and we had to bust our buns?

  Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : Very well. Klinger, how do you spell 'caution'?

  Cpl. Maxwell Klinger : C-A-W...

  Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : I rest my case.

• Col. Sherman Potter : [Dedicating the new cement floor in O.R]  Special thanks to Captains Pierce and Hunnicut for going over my head right to Corporal Klinger. Next, to Major Winchester.

  Cpl. Maxwell Klinger : [Everybody groans]  Why Major Winchester?

  Margaret : He didn't do a thing. He didn't even lift a shovel!

  Col. Sherman Potter : Pipe down, pipe down. This is an operating room. As I was saying, here's to Major Winchester for showing that a man can be neat, clean, and bathed, and still end up smelling bad.

  Cpl. Maxwell Klinger : [Charles groans]  Now that's more like it.

• Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : What do we got to lose?

  Maj. Charles Emerson Winchester III : For one thing, me. These hands work on nothing lower than an appendectomy.

  Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Well, our loss is our gain.

  Hawkeye : Okay, Klinger, you're on. But you better know what you're doing.

  Cpl. Maxwell Klinger : Trust me. I know cement and it's not that hard.

• Cpl. Maxwell Klinger : [the officers are making a concrete floor]  Let's start moving! Let's start moving! This is your foreman.

  Hawkeye : Wait a minute, wait a minute, who made you the foreman?

  Cpl. Maxwell Klinger : Well, I thought the selection was automatic, considering my background.

  Hawkeye : Well you can take your background and go sit in the background.

  Cpl. Maxwell Klinger : Have it your way, BOSS. But one quick question before I go: what's the formula for mixing concrete?

  Hawkeye : Why don't you handle this one, Beej?

  Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Don't look at me, talk to the foreman.