Married... with Children (TV Series)

Ship Happens (1995)

Amanda Bearse: Marcy D'Arcy

Quotes 

• Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : Why must you always be so negative?

  Al Bundy : Why did you cross the road?

  [insulted, Marcy kicks Al in his shin] 

  Al Bundy : Oww! What'd I say?

• Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : Anyway, Al. At 6:30 I'm going upstairs for aqua aerobics. The male crewmembers were going to pretend to be dolphins and I get to pet their dorsal fins. And vice versa. Don't tell Jefferson.

  Al : Marcy did you happen to notice if any of the female cremwmembers were going to pretend to be dolphins?

  Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : Hmm, no. I think they're going to be mermaids. Or whatever it is you call it when you swim around topless.

• [last lines] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [runs in]  We're going down!

  Al Bundy : What do you mean? The party's moved?

  Marcy D'Arcy : [runs in]  No, the ship is sinking!

  Jefferson D'Arcy : One of the fat women below smelled the jerk chicken and attempted to cut through the bulkhead floor with a blowtorch!

  Peggy Bundy : Oh, no! Are we really sinking?

  Al Bundy : Oh, come on! If we were really sinking that means that I could just look right into this porthole over here and see...

  [there is a waterline in the porthole that is rapidly rising] 

  Al Bundy : ...FISH!

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Water is seeping into the cabin!

  Marcy D'Arcy : Oh, my God! We're all going to die!

  Al Bundy : [to Peggy]  Thank you Peg, for booking me on the Titanic!

• Marcy Rhoades D'Arcy : [re celebrity hair stylists]  Who do you think does Sandra Bernhard's hair?

  Al : Ray Charles?