Married... with Children (TV Series)

Ship Happens (1995)

Lisa Stahl: Gretchen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Gretchen : Hi, I'm Gretchen, the athletics coordinator on the ship. I just dropped by to ask if you two guys will be taking aerobics classes during the cruise.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : That depends. Are you taking them?

  Gretchen : I'm teaching them.

  Al Bundy : We're taking them.

• Jefferson D'Arcy : Uh, excuse me, Gretchen, but uh... I thought all the passengers were...

  [Al whispers something in his ear] 

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Jurassic, Uh, I-I mean... jolly.

  Gretchen : May I share something with you?

  Al : Sure! Jefferson, would you step outside?

  [pushes Jefferson aside and pulls Gretchen closer] 

  Gretchen : Well what I meant was since you're not part of the diet group, you can participate in our after hours activities.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Uh, what, what kind of after hour activities?

  Gretchen : Well, after our 6:30 round up and lock down for our larger passengers, we put away the celery and those disgusting chalky shakes and bring out the real food.

  [reads from her clipboard] 

  Gretchen : Tonight is... Carnival, couscous and clothing-optional lambada.

• Al : Now let me get this straight. At 6:30 you herd all the buffalos back to their cells, you lock them up, and then a wild orgy of scantily clad crew and us take over the ship?

  Gretchen : Right! Uh, is that okay?

  Al : [deliriously happy]  Yes... It's fine!

  Jefferson D'Arcy : [nearly in tears]  Thank you.

  Gretchen : Great! I'll see you guys there.

• Gretchen : [in her cute training outfit]  I just wanted to know if either of you were taking aerobics classes?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Are you taking them?

  Gretchen : I'm teaching them!

  Al Bundy : We're taking them!