Married... with Children (TV Series)

The D'Arcy Files (1994)

Ted McGinley: Jefferson D'Arcy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jefferson : You're a Bundy and if you put a D where the N is, you're a buddy.

  Al : And if you put an N where the D is, I'm a bunny. What's your point?

• Al Bundy : Walter Traugott came into the store today, told me you were a spy. Said he'd give me a $50,000 reward if I turned you in.

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Did you?

  Al Bundy : Do I look like I'm in Rio without the wife and kids? Although there is a plane leaving at six.

• Al Bundy : One last question. Who was the vice president under president Eisenhower?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : I have no idea.

  Al Bundy : You are an American.

  [Al salutes] 

• Jefferson D'Arcy : If Traugott finds me, I'm as dead as network TV.

• Jefferson D'Arcy : Oh, hey, before I forget, Marcy wanted to invite you guys to an April Fools' party tomorrow.

  Al Bundy : Really?

  Jefferson D'Arcy : Yeah.

  Al Bundy : Oh, man, I love April Fools' Day. Peg, remember Mrs. Quinn, our music teacher?

  Peggy Bundy : [chuckles]  Yeah. One April Fools', we faked a love note from her to the female gym teacher.

  Al Bundy : [laughs]  And the school board suspended her license.

  Peggy Bundy : [laughs]  Just three days before her retirement!

  Al Bundy : And her husband divorced her and left her penniless!