The Monkees (TV Series)

Monkees Watch Their Feet (1968)

Pat Paulsen: The Secretary

Quotes 

• The Secretary : At this very moment, walking upon the face of mother Earth, are aliens from outer space. You may poo-poo this statement, but I must say empahtically...

  [lamely hits the table with his fist] 

  The Secretary : ... don't poo-poo it.

• The Secretary : Certainly, if the intend was to be humerous, it would have been funnier than that. Unless... it was a TV show.

• The Secretary : Here he comes, walking down the beach. Gets the funniest looks... from everyone he meets.

  [singing a line from Simon & Garfunkle's "The 59th Street Bridge Song"] 

  The Secretary : Feeling groovy...

• The Secretary : [narrating]  Recognizing an alien is no easy task. They have all the human qualities: greed, anger, hate. So I'm not saying they're all bad.

• The Secretary : [quoting Mickey's robot duplicate]  'My feet aren't backwards, yours are'. The arrogance. Casting aspersion on the feet God gave us. Is nothing sacred to these aliens? We pause for a commercial.

• The Secretary : In summation, let me say once more, emphaticaly: We are being attacked by outer space. The time has come for us to stop sticking our bayonets into each other and start sticking our bayonets into space.