Only Fools and Horses (TV Series)
A Slow Bus to Chingford (1981)
David Jason: Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter
Photos
Quotes
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Rodney Trotter : How much are you charging for this tour, then?
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Seventeen quid each.
Rodney Trotter : Seventeen pounds for a walkabout in Croydon?
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Well, that includes lunch, doesn't it! Traditional British fare. Doner kebab, something like that.
Rodney Trotter : A doner kebab? For seventeen nicker I'd want Donna Summers
[sic]
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : You would, wouldn't you! You tight wad!
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Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : "The truth is only relative to what you can earn from a lie". Einstein.
Grandad : I'll tell you one truth you wont earn a brass farthing out of - no-one is gonna turn up!
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : They will turn up! They'e got to! This time next year we'll be millionaires.
Grandad : You said that this time last year.
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Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Oi Janice, you mind his bruises, won't ya?
Janice : What bruises?
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Bruises, he's covered in 'em. It's where the girls keep on pushing him away with ten foot barge poles.
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Rodney Trotter : You're gonna sell 'em models of a Roman statue, now housed in the Louvre gallery in Paris, for souvenirs of old London? It's the Venus De Milo, Del!
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : No, that is Boudicea, that is, innit? Eh?
Rodney Trotter : Boudicea rode around in a chariot with big swords sticking out the wheels.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : All right, so she fell off her chariot!
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Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : We clearly stated on our leaflets that 9 o'clock was departure time. Here we are, 11.30; no sign of them.
Grandad : I've told you before. No one will turn up.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : Yes they will! As soon as the word spreads about a bit, they'll be here in droves. No, the only thing that worries me is; is a 59 seater bus gonna be big enough? Perhaps we should have had two, maybe three?
Grandad : A tandem would be too big.
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Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : I'll take them over to North London, show them where Jack The Ripper was buried.
Rodney Trotter : Nobody knows where Jack The Ripper was buried.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter : They can't prove me wrong then, can they? Eh?