Roseanne (TV Series)

Aliens (1992)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Quotes 

• Dan : [the following evening at the bike shop, after Mike Summers's visit to the Conner home; he walks in the door]  Can I help you?

  Mike Summers : Yeah, Hi, I'm Mike Summers, your state representative. How are you doin'? Yeah, I'm meeting with small businessmen in the area, trying to get a sense of what their conse...

  Roseanne : [Roseanne comes in from the back of the shop and sees him]  Hey!

  Mike Summers : Oh hell no!

  [he turns and runs out the front door, with Roseanne hot on his tail] 

  Roseanne : Hey! Wait up!

• Dan : [on the phone, sucking up to a banker/friend; he covers the mouth-piece and asks Roseanne]  Which one's the genius?

  Roseanne : The little-one, Katie.

  Darlene : The one who made boom-boom in our sink.

• Roseanne : [Dan finishes reading a note from DJ's school]  Maybe there's a page missing.

  Dan : He's in the Regionals, that's the whole note

  [checks the other side] 

  Dan : no-one was hurt.

  Roseanne : DJ I always knew you had some special hidden talent, now you can spell, you can spell.

  Darlene : That's where the big money is

  [she stands up and gets her bag] 

  D.J. Conner : You're just jealous.

  Darlene : You're right, I wanted to be Rain Man.

• Dan : [reading a note]  Who are the Allen's and why are they out of spice?

  Roseanne : Aliens Dan, from outer space.

  Dan : Oh,that makes a little more sense.

  Nancy Bartlett : Did he say anything? Is there another woman?

  Dan : No offense Nancy but it's a miracle there's one.

• Teacher : [to Roger]  You don't have to be embarrassed, you did very well and whenever you do your very best, you're never a loser.

  Dan : [quietly]  Yeah he is.

  Roseanne : Spell "goodnight" Roger.

• Teacher : Your word is Monarch.

  Dan : Piece of cake.

  D.J. Conner : M-O-N-A-R-C-H, Monarch.

  Dan : Too bad.

• [about the motorcycle Dan sold for a hundred bucks less than he bought it for] 

  Roseanne : I know how hard you worked on it.

  Dan : We'll screw the next guy over real good.

• Dan : Remember our family motto: we're Conners, we gotta eat.