Roseanne (TV Series)

Looking for Loans in All the Wrong Places (1992)

Michael Fishman: D.J. Conner

Quotes 

• D.J. : [Darlene catches him trying to hide a spyscope]  I was looking at the stars.

  Darlene : [looks out the window with the spyscope]  Hmm. Oh well, would you look at that? There's a constellation in the shape of a naked next-door neighbor!

• Molly Tilden : [knocks on the door, Darlene answers, letting her in]  Your little brother is doing is again!

  Darlene : I told you I'd take care of it and I did. Dee Jaaaaaay!

  Molly Tilden : What are you calling him down here for? He'll never admit it.

  Darlene : Oh, he won't have to. I put shoe polish on the eye of his telescope so he would be branded the deviate that he is.

  D.J. : [comes downstairs with no shoe polish on his eye]  What do you want?

  Molly Tilden : Brilliant plan.

  Darlene : [puzzled]  It shoulda worked.

  David : [comes downstairs with black shoe polish on his eye]  Hey!... What?

  [Molly is grinning, Darlene seeths with anger. A sign blocking the screen reads: DUE TO ITS EXTREMELY GRAPHIC AND VIOLENT NATURE, THE REMAINDER OF THIS SCENE HAS BEEN CENSORED] 

• D.J. : Mom says I get to name the restaurant!

  Darlene : Great. From the boy who named his goldfish "Fluffy".

• D.J. : You're a way better baby sitter than Darlene.

  Molly Tilden : Oh yeah?

  D.J. : Yeah. You let me out of my room.

• D.J. : Darlene says there's no electricity or lights where you come from, but that's okay, 'cause you can't read anyway.

  Molly Tilden : Oh yeah? Well what else does she say?

  D.J. : You guys keep live chickens in your kitchen and kill them with your bare hands.