Roseanne (TV Series)

Second Time Around (1991)

John Goodman: Dan Conner

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dan : [after a near miss with a wrecking ball on Dan's jobsite]  I'm more embarrassed than anything else. I crawl out of that thing with my pants down around my ankles, I looked up, there's thirty people standing around staring at me.

  Arnie Thomas : Man, and it was really an awkward moment. No one knew what to do. Fortunately, I had the presence of mind to start the applause.

• Roseanne : What are you eating?

  Dan : Salami and peppers.

  Roseanne : What, one brush with death a day isn't enough for you?

  Dan : I live on the edge. Want a bite?

  [Roseanne shakes her head no] 

  Dan : Wuss

• Dan : Honey, I think we should talk about this. I mean, what would happen if we both went at the same time, like in a plane crash.

  Roseanne : [chuckles]  We never go anywhere, Dan. A plane would actually have to crash into the sofa.

• Dan : [to Jackie]  I'm on my way to work. Do you want me to give you a lift?

  Jackie : No, I'm gonna get some breakfast first.

  Dan : It is the most important mooch of the day.

• Becky : [about D.J.'s reaction to his Dad's accident]  Dad, he's crazy.

  Dan : He's showing concern, which is more than I can say for certain *others* in this household, considering what happened to *me* yesterday.

  Darlene : You were sitting in a porta-crapper that got nailed by a wrecking ball. I didn't take *one shot*. Now *that* is love.

• Roseanne : [flashback to the moment of D.J.'s birth]  What is it? What is it?

  Dan : Five, five, five, five, *one*! Yes! It's a boy!