The Simpsons (TV Series)

New Kid on the Block (1992)

Nancy Cartwright: Bart Simpson, Ooda, Candy, Shasta, Kearney, Dolph, Woman in Crowd

Quotes 

• [after tripping and knocking himself out, Bart wakes up and sees Laura bending over him] 

  Laura Powers : Hey, kid, wake up! Hi, I'm Laura Powers, your new neighbor. Are you okay?

  Bart Simpson : [thinking]  She's beautiful! Say something clever.

  [aloud] 

  Bart Simpson : I fell on my bottom.

  [thinking] 

  Bart Simpson : D'oh!

• Bart : Grampa, I need some advice. Did you ever fall in love with an older woman?

  Abe Simpson : I fell in love with the OLDEST woman. A hundred and twenty-four years old, she was. Here's a picture of her delivering Eubie Blake.

  Bart : Wow. What happened?

  Abe Simpson : She fell in with that Guinness Book of Records crowd; all of a sudden she didn't have time for me. Ohhh, I wore a fifteen-pound beard of bees for that woman, but it wasn't enough.

• Bart : Dad, if there's a really special girl and she likes some clod who's beneath her, what should you do?

  Homer : I *married* her!

  [grabs Marge and puts her on his lap; they giggle] 

  Marge : Homer, please!

  [hiccups] 

  Marge : I just had eggs.

• [Laura is coming over to babysit] 

  Lisa Simpson : [incredulous]  You're taking a bath?

  Bart Simpson : Hey, sometimes a guy just wants his skin to look its yellowest.

• Laura Powers : Thanks for coming.

  Bart Simpson : I please to

  [voice cracks] 

  Bart Simpson : aim.

  Laura Powers : I'm so happy. I just had to tell someone. I have a boyfriend.

  [Laura reaches inside Bart's chest and pulls out his heart] 

  Laura Powers : You won't be needing this.

  [she then drop-kicks his heart into a garbage can]