South Park (TV Series)

My Future Self n' Me (2002)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Clyde, Jimmy Valmer, Ozzy Osbourne, Grandpa Marsh, Tom the News Reader, 'Future Stan', Randy Marsh, Singer, Dr. John Becker, Motivationcorp Employee, Kevin's Mother, Philippe, Chris Stotch

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Future Cartman : I came back to tell you that this is the day you turn it all around. You stop eating junk food, you start studying harder, you stay away from drugs and alcohol and you become CEO of your own time travel company.

  Cartman : Oh, wow. Really? That's so awesome. Now I'll really work to be successful.

  Future Cartman : Right on.

  Cartman : Go have sex with yourself, asshole! I'm not that stupid! Just for that, I'm gonna spend my whole childhood eating what I want, and doin' drugs when I waunt! Whatevuh! I'll do what I waunt!

  Future Cartman : No, wait!

  [changes into a fat plumber] 

  Future Cartman : Oh, Goddamnit!

• Stan : [about to chop off his hand]  Now, if that really is my future self, his hand will disappear the minute I chop off my hand, right?

  [his parents scream for him to stop] 

  Stan : Can't stop dad - who knows, maybe that's the hand I use to smoke my first joint!

• [an older version of Stan has been sent back from the future through a time matrix] 

  Old Stan : Hey, Stan, do you want to go upstairs and play hide-and-seek?

  Stan : [rolls eyes]  Hide and seek?

  Mr. March : Yes, Stan, you should go up and play with yourself.