South Park (TV Series)

Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes (2004)

Trey Parker: Stan Marsh, Eric Cartman, Mr. Garrison, Men in Crowd, Wall-Mart Manager, Randy Marsh, Grandpa Marsh, Jimmy Valmer, Jim Barkle, Chris Stotch, Builder, Harvey Brown, Wall Mart

Quotes 

• Eric Cartman : [the boys are in the movie aisle]  Dude, check it out! Time Cop on DVD. Three copies for eighteen bucks!

  Kyle Broflovski : Why the hell would you want three copies of the same movie?

  Eric Cartman : Because one copy is nine ninety-eight! But this way you save like twenty bucks!

  Kyle Broflovski : You only need one copy, r-tard!

  Eric Cartman : Okay, fine, dumbass, *YOU* go ahead and buy one copy for nine ninety-eight!

  Kyle Broflovski : Okay, fine, I *will*!

  [grabs a copy] 

  Kyle Broflovski : Huh, wait a minute! I don't even want *ONE* copy of Time Cop!

  [puts it back] 

  Eric Cartman : Dude, you can't shop for crap.

• Stan Marsh : Jesus Christ... Dad?

  Randy Marsh : Stan?

  Stan Marsh : Stan: Dad, oh my God!

  Randy Marsh : Staaaan!

  Stan Marsh : What, Dad, are you dying?

  Randy Marsh : No, I'm just really really tired. I was shopping at Wall-Mart all night.

• Stan Marsh : Three tickets to Bentonville, Arkansas, please.

  Eric Cartman : Hey, guys, wait up. I wanna go with you and help out.

  Kyle Broflovski : No way. You want to come with us so you can betray us at some point and keep us from destroying Wall-Mart.

  Eric Cartman : Nu-uh.

  Kyle Broflovski : Yu-hah! you want to come with us so that later I can go "Hah hah, I was working for Wall-Mart all along" or something.

  Eric Cartman : I am not, Kyle!

  Stan Marsh : Dude, just let him come, the bus is about to leave.

  Kyle Broflovski : Alright, fine. Come on, fat-ass.

  [Kyle walks off; Cartman takes out a knife] 

  Eric Cartman : Ha ha, you fools have no idea that I will never let you hurt the Wall-Mart.

  Kyle Broflovski : [running back]  I heard that!

  Eric Cartman : Heard what?

  Kyle Broflovski : You said that we have no idea that you are never going to let us hurt the Wall-Mart.

  Eric Cartman : That's not what I said!

  Stan Marsh : Dude, come on!

  Eric Cartman : He's working for the Wall-Mart to stop us from succeeding!

  Stan Marsh : Dude, we have to go.

  Kyle Broflovski : God damn it.

  Stan Marsh : Well, hurry up if you're coming, Cartman!

  Eric Cartman : [offscreen]  Heh heh, you stupid fools have no idea that I'm actually working for the Wall-Mart to stop you from succeeding!

• Stan Marsh : Goddamn, that took a long time.

  Kyle Broflovski : It would have been faster if Cartman hadn't slashed the tires!

  Eric Cartman : I did not. I wanna close Wall-Mart just as much as you guys do!

• Eric Cartman : If you want to hurt the Wall-Mart, you're gonna have to go through me.

• Eric Cartman : You guys know what? Um, the last thing you do when you die is crap your pants.

• Eric Cartman : Whoa, pixie sticks, 29 cents!

  [Cartman slips into a trance] 

  Eric Cartman : Wall-Mart? are you speaking to me?... My friends... Trying to hurt you again? Yes Wall-Mart, I understand.