Destroy All Humans! 2 (2006 Video Game)

Anthony Head: Ponsonby

Quotes 

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : And now for something... completely different.

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe, at your service, and Her Majesty's. Although in her case, the service is secret.

• Crypto : So, modern art? Jackson Pollack pees on a canvas and sells it for fifty grand?

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Ha! Oh... you're serious. Well, I suppose it takes an educated eye to make sense out of it.

  Crypto : Educated eye? What a crock! I don't need a masters in art history to know what I like.

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Yes, but as conceptual art becomes more abstract, it helps to understand what the artist had in mind...

  Crypto : You do realize the player's in the kitchen making nachos right now.

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Well, you did that whole "Blue Rider" thing in the first game, so I thought...

  Crypto : Yeah, I know. Lead balloon city.

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Silhoutte was the only woman I'll ever love! Ah, well at least I've still got the men.

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : I'm glad you're here sir. The Soviets appear to be up to some mischief.

  Crypto : What sort of mischief? 'Cause if she says she's eighteen you can't just call her a liar.

• Crypto : [Ponsonby has drugged Crypto]  So sleepy... you... I'll

  [he passes out] 

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Lower life forms. When will they ever learn?

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Now tell me all the good things you remember about your mother.

  Crypto : You mean, you're not my mother? Or are you?

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : We know you have it! Tell us where it is or it's the Ludwig treatment for you. Eyelids peeled back, excruciating torture, endless hours of Ludwig Van!

  Crypto : Oh God! Not Beethoven! Anything but Beethoven!

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : How are you feeling?

  Crypto : Well I could do with a martini. After a hard day of being drugged and kidnapped nothing else seems to hit the spot.

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : [dying]  You bastard! You finally did it... M16, the last of the Majestic Agencies... The French... The Mongolian Station... The Argentineans. All destroyed by... aliens.

  Crypto : That last round must have scrambled your synapses, I only destroyed the American Majestic... Silhouette's Majestic...

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : You think this is all about you? Oh the irony.

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : You honestly think you're the only... the only...

  Crypto : The only what?

  Orthopox-13 : Leave it, Crypto. The man was in the throes of a violent demise and obviously in no state to talk. You've had your fun, now let's get out of here quick!

• [Crypto is dillusional because Ponsonby has poisoned him] 

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Now, tell me all the good things you remember about you mother.

  Crypto : Mommy? No, not the hot iron treatment again! I'll be good, I promise.

• Crypto : Mornin', Ponsonby. You rang?

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Hmm?

  Crypto : This better be good. I was this close to second base with Princess Margaret.

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : I appreciate your coming on such short notice, sir. This is of the greatest importance.

  Crypto : Important to whom, me or you?

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : To both of us, I think.

• Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : We know you have it! Tell us what it is! Tell us, or it's the Ludwig treatment for you! Eyelids peeled back, excruciating torture, endless hours of Ludwig Van!

  Crypto : [drugged]  Uncle Orthopox, he said I'm not supposed to talk to strange lifeforms.

  Reginald Ponsonby-Smythe : Good. Calibration complete. Now then, get some rest, Cryptosporidium. We can continue in the morning.