Married... with Children (TV Series)

Married... with Who (1991)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peggy Bundy : Who would you rather spend the night with? A, your wife, or B...

  Al Bundy : B!

• [Marcy wakes up one morning and finds herself married to Jefferson] 

  Al : Now, Jeff, all kidding aside, run. Run hard, run now, run silent, run deep, run like Mexican water through a first-time tourist, but the key word here is "run!"

  Jefferson : Don't you think she's cute, Al?

  Al : *Run.*

• [Marcy identifies herself as Jefferson's wife] 

  Jefferson : By the way, my name is Jefferson.

  Marcy : I'm Marcy.

  Al : Yeah, I'm Al, so now that the Beatles have been reunited, you can get the hell out of here!

• Marcy : All I know is I woke up this morning with a man in my bed. I don't even know who he is.

  Al : Well, that's easy, he slept with you, he's the stupidest man on earth.

• Al : [on phone]  Yeah, I want to cater a wedding. I'm expecting about 60 people, so I'll need about 2 pounds of cold cuts... Yeah, what's your cheapest price?... Uh-huh, and what kind of animal would that be?... Well at 12 cents a pound, that's pretty steep... Well, anyway, can you throw in some beaks and claws?

• Al : You'll have your wedding in God's cathedral, our back yard.

  Marcy : Your back yard is Buck's toilet.

  Al : No, *your* back yard is Buck's toilet,