Baby Mama (2008)

Amy Poehler: Angie

Photos 

Quotes 

• Kate Holbrook : Did you just stick your gum under my coffee table?

  Angie Ostrowiski : [nervous]  I don't know.

  Kate Holbrook : What do you mean, you don't know? You think you're at an Arby's right now?

  Angie Ostrowiski : You know what? I wish I was at an Arby's 'cause there's better food and cooler people there!

  Kate Holbrook : [looks under the coffee table]  Did you stick *all* this gum under here?

  Angie Ostrowiski : I don't know! Maybe you stuck some of it under there.

  Kate Holbrook : Yeah, actually, you might be right. 'Cause sometimes, when I work a really long day, I like to come home and chew a huge wad of Bubblicious gum and stick it under my reclaimed barnwood coffee table!

  Angie Ostrowiski : Bitch, I don't know your life!

• Carl : My first thought about Angie carrying someone else's baby? I thought... My wife is gonna have sex with somebody else's husband to do this?...

  Angie Ostrowiski : - Out of the question...

  Carl : - that's gonna cost extr - out of the question, right. Out of the question.

• Chaffee Bicknell : That's right, I'm expecting again.

  Angie Ostrowiski : [to Kate]  Expecting what? A Social Security check?

  Kate Holbrook : It's weird, isn't it?

• Kate Holbrook : [Angie's water breaks]  Angie, I think your water broke!

  Angie Ostrowiski : [Looks at the cup of water she's holding]  Wait, what?

  Kate Holbrook : Your water is breaking!

  Angie Ostrowiski : I got to get a bus to take me to the hospital.

  Kate Holbrook : Let me drive you, I'll drive you.

  Angie Ostrowiski : Okay, hold this.

  [Hands Kate her water] 

  Angie Ostrowiski : I'm not due for 3 weeks!

  Kate Holbrook : I know.

  Angie Ostrowiski : Should we clean that up?

  Kate Holbrook : No, somebody else will get that.

• Carl : I want you back. I haven't had sex in 2 weeks.

  Angie Ostrowiski : I've been gone for a month.

• Angie Ostrowiski : [as she enters the hospital, about to go into labor]  It feels like I'm shitting a knife!

• Kate Holbrook : So... How long have you two been together?

  Angie Ostrowiski : We met the summer after I discontinued high school, and we've been together ever since.

  Angie Ostrowiski : He never officially asked me to be his wife but he never asked me to not be his wife either, so things are going pretty good.

• Angie Ostrowiski : [to Kate]  There's something wrong with your toilet.

• Birthing Teacher : Welcome to the birthing center. In this birthing class we are going to help you new mommies and daddies, and our mommies and mommies, lesbian lovers...

  Kate Holbrook , Angie Ostrowiski : No.

  Birthing Teacher : prepare for that marathon of labor. Quick question before we start, how many of you are planning on doing natural child birth?

  [everyone raises hand except Angie and Kate] 

  Birthing Teacher : That's a good show of hands! That's so great, you're all so brave! And how many of you are planning on using toxic western medications to drug your baby for your own selfish comfort, anyone?

  Angie Ostrowiski : [raises hands]  OOH OOOOOH!

• Kate Holbrook : [points]  That's his car.

  Angie Ostrowiski : What, this right here?

  Kate Holbrook : Yes. Silver Infiniti, Penn State sticker, baseball mitt in the backseat. This is Scott. You know what we should do?

  [Angie heaves a trash can at the car, shattering the back windshield and setting off the alarm] 

  Angie Ostrowiski : Yeah!

  Kate Holbrook : [horrified]  I was gonna say leave a funny note!

• Kate Holbrook : I'm sorry, I think I may have overreacted back there.

  Angie Ostrowiski : You think?

  Kate Holbrook : It's just this whole thing is very important to me, and frankly it makes me a little bit crazy that you get to feel it and experience it while I just watch. And I might be a little bit jealous.

  Angie Ostrowiski : Jealous? How could you be jealous of me?

  Kate Holbrook : I'm sorry I called you stupid.

  Angie Ostrowiski : I'm sorry I farted into your purse.

• Birthing Teacher : As your pregnancy progresses, your partner can help you prep your perineum for the great stretch of delivery. Massage the area daily with a little EVOO to help you stretch and prevent tearing.

  Angie Ostrowiski : What is she talking about?

  Kate Holbrook : I think she wants me to rub olive oil on your taint.

  Angie Ostrowiski : Is it cool if maybe I spray a little PAM down in that area right before the baby comes out?

  Kate Holbrook : You have to admit it's a valid suggestion.

• Kate Holbrook : I hope you don't mind, I bought you some groceries. I thought you might want to start eating organic.

  Angie Ostrowiski : Eh. That crap is for rich people who hate themselves.

• Angie Ostrowiski : Is that what you're wearing?

  Kate Holbrook : We *are* going to a nightclub.

• Judge : [to Angie while she's yelling and standing to prove a point]  Excuse me Miss, but would you *please* sit down!

  Angie Ostrowiski : No! Freedom of speech, it's in the thing!

• Angie Ostrowiski : You people and your space age cars.

• Angie Ostrowiski : Your stupid space car locked me in!

• Angie Ostrowiski : You went out with him?

  Kate Holbrook : I did.

  Angie Ostrowiski : Why?

  Kate Holbrook : Oh, he's beautiful.

  Angie Ostrowiski : Where?

• Angie Ostrowiski : I want a common law divorce.

• Kate Holbrook : [about being a surrogate]  Have you done this before?

  Angie Ostrowiski : No, but I know I'm good at getting pregnant.

• Angie Ostrowiski : [Kate is vogueing on the dance floor]  Stop framing your face!

  Kate Holbrook : I think it's good!

  Angie Ostrowiski : It's not.