With maybe 24 minutes to fill, this episode of the pay-cable skin series BLACK TIE NIGHTS throws in tons & tons of plot & subplots, courtesy of 3 writers, to deliver a weak mish-mash. I get mighty tired of the rigid format of these sex-tease shows, but here's a segment which proves why they're so formulaic in the first place.
Series regular Amy Lindsay is obsessed with her late husband Vince (played by Hoyt Richards), and takes the opening sex scene with him. The ghost tells her to move on, and to this end co-star Tiffany Bolton fixes her up with Grant (Doug Jeffery). Since fixing people up is the job for both Lindsay and Bolton, this isn't much of a stretch.
Segment title stems from a dumb request by client Andy (Matt Wilde/Mark Weiler, back when he sported a full head of hair), who's obsessed with a model (oddly enough, NOT nude) he spotted on page 19 of a magazine. Sheila is the model (played SANS nudity or even sex simulation by guest star Belinda Gavin, who usually gets down), and our intrepid Auntie Mames (or can we call them pimpettes?) track her down and convince her to meet with Randy Andy.
Plot gimmicks and twists start coming on very strong (hey, with de rigeur 4-minute sex scenes included, 24 minutes flies by quickly), as blind date Grant turns out to be a fabulously successful California winegrower who conveniently has also lost his wife. Andy's back story is pretty stupid: he foolishly had sex with the twin sister of his girl friend when those tricky twins pulled that old saw of substituting one for the other. This sets the stage for a very corny twist on him, while the pimpsters' food expert Sonya (Ria Solova) is fobbed off on Grant.
After suffering through all this I'm looking forward to good ole straightforward hop-in-the-sack sex next time around. I pity the underpaid scribes who have to churn out this level of crap, especially when they try to get clever (even by committee) as evidenced here. It's no wonder that so much porn simply omits the "writing" credit altogether: like what passes for today's theatrical films, it's a "visionary" director's medium (yeah, right).
Series regular Amy Lindsay is obsessed with her late husband Vince (played by Hoyt Richards), and takes the opening sex scene with him. The ghost tells her to move on, and to this end co-star Tiffany Bolton fixes her up with Grant (Doug Jeffery). Since fixing people up is the job for both Lindsay and Bolton, this isn't much of a stretch.
Segment title stems from a dumb request by client Andy (Matt Wilde/Mark Weiler, back when he sported a full head of hair), who's obsessed with a model (oddly enough, NOT nude) he spotted on page 19 of a magazine. Sheila is the model (played SANS nudity or even sex simulation by guest star Belinda Gavin, who usually gets down), and our intrepid Auntie Mames (or can we call them pimpettes?) track her down and convince her to meet with Randy Andy.
Plot gimmicks and twists start coming on very strong (hey, with de rigeur 4-minute sex scenes included, 24 minutes flies by quickly), as blind date Grant turns out to be a fabulously successful California winegrower who conveniently has also lost his wife. Andy's back story is pretty stupid: he foolishly had sex with the twin sister of his girl friend when those tricky twins pulled that old saw of substituting one for the other. This sets the stage for a very corny twist on him, while the pimpsters' food expert Sonya (Ria Solova) is fobbed off on Grant.
After suffering through all this I'm looking forward to good ole straightforward hop-in-the-sack sex next time around. I pity the underpaid scribes who have to churn out this level of crap, especially when they try to get clever (even by committee) as evidenced here. It's no wonder that so much porn simply omits the "writing" credit altogether: like what passes for today's theatrical films, it's a "visionary" director's medium (yeah, right).