Everybody Hates Chris (TV Series)

Everybody Hates Minimum Wage (2007)

Chris Rock: Narrator

Quotes 

• Narrator : Basically, minimum wage is the only guarantee people get paid in money. Your boss would pay you in Popsicle sticks if he could.

  Boss : Great work.

  [gives him a Popsicle stick] 

  Worker : A Popsicle stick? What do you take this thing for, man? I cannot work and live off no Popsicle sticks. The least you can do is give me the damn Popsicle.

• Narrator : By 1986, I'd been working at Doc's for three years. Outside of getting robbed four times, sick on the pickles three times and a double hernia, it was the single greatest job I ever had. And from time to time, a pretty girl might stroll in. In exchange for all my hard work, I got paid three dollars an hour.

• Narrator : At dinner, Drew looked sadder than 69-cent shoes.

• Chris : [to Greg about the girl he likes]  Why don't you just go talk to her?

  Greg Wuliger : I can't just go up to her and start talking.

  Narrator : Works for pimps.

  Chris : Yeah, you can.

  Greg Wuliger : Okay, smarty-pants, Do... do I say "hi"? Do I say "hello"? Or maybe "hey"? Or even "hey, hi"? The possibilities are endless. We haven't even gotten to what I'll be wearing.

  Narrator : I know what you'll be wearing. A look of frozen terror.

• Mr. Fong : [to Chris]  Lionel Ritchie, go wash the dishes.

  Narrator : He wouldn't talk to the real Lionel Ritchie like that.

• Narrator : My new job wasn't just making me tired of working, it was making me tired of Greg.

• James : [to Chris]  Man, there must be something wrong with you. This is a good job. I'm sure glad you quit. And tell Tonya I'm holding aside the bubble gum she likes.

  Narrator : You're going to be holding your teeth if you go near my sister.

• Narrator : My mother's career as a hair model was over faster than Pacman Jones' career as a citizen.

• Chris : [to James]  You're working at Hoo's now?

  James : Yeah, man. That's a good job. I don't know why you quit. He pays $67 a week cash. No taxes. Must be something wrong with you.

  Narrator : I'd like to kick him in the fortune cookies.