American Dad! (TV Series)

Dope and Faith (2007)

Seth MacFarlane: Stan Smith, Roger the Alien

Photos 

Quotes 

• [last lines] 

  Stan Smith : Hey, you still play golf, right?

  Brett Morris : Stan, I'm a Satanist, not a poor person.

• Roger : [laughs]  Oh, my God! Stan has no friends! And he didn't even realize! He's like America, THE GUY!

• Stan Smith : I'm having a spiritual crisis. What do you do when your best friend doesn't believe in God?

  Father Donovan : Well Stan, we're hardly best friends.

• Roger : Hello, Sharper Image? Yeah, give me three Sopranos pinball machines, the radio golf ball, a floating ant farm, a flashlight hammer to smash the ants with if they piss me off...

• Stan Smith : God is my co-pilot! And the Virgin Mary is the hot stewardess! Ding! More peanuts, Mary!

• Roger : [after getting a faceful of cocaine]  I AM INCREDIBLY FOCUSED RIGHT NOW!

• Roger : I was just taking a midnight stroll when I saw what looked like a magical owl fly by and... oh! Look at that! It's right here, and it's carrying a letter!

  [Steve opens the letter and gasps] 

  Roger : What does it say?

  Steve Smith : It says I've been admitted to Hogwarts School of Wizardry! The gypsy was right! I am special!

  Roger : [snickering]  And here I was thinking you were just a gullible idiot.

• Steve Smith : [walking in a carnival with Roger]  You spent all your money trying to win a hat with antlers?

  Roger : [angrily]  I do not choose to discuss it.

  Fortune Teller : [pointing at Steve]  I see a very lucky boy.

  Steve Smith : Wow, really? Will you tell my fortune?

  Roger : Steve, before she tells you your future, let me tell you her past: forty years of alcoholism and three doctorless abortions.

  Fortune Teller : You are a sad, angry little person.

  Steve Smith : That's uncanny!

  Fortune Teller : What would you like to know?

  Steve Smith : Uhm... I don't know. I guess just if there's anything special about me or...

  Fortune Teller : Yes! You are special. I - I see it!

  Steve Smith : Wow!

  Roger : Steve, she's just repeating whatever you say.

  Steve Smith : You're just jealous because I'm special and you're not. You're boring and regular.

  [walks off] 

  Roger : Uh! "Regular"? Oh, Steven... I'm going to hurt you so bad.

  [to the fortune teller] 

  Roger : I got a question about the future: you see yourself taking a shower ever?