"The Big Bang Theory" The Bat Jar Conjecture (TV Episode 2008) Poster

(TV Series)

(2008)

Simon Helberg: Howard Wolowitz

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Sara Gilbert, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Sara Gilbert, Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Sara Gilbert, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, Jim Parsons, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Kaley Cuoco, Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Simon Helberg in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Johnny Galecki and Simon Helberg in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Simon Helberg in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Simon Helberg and Jim Parsons in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Sara Gilbert, Sergio Enrique, Johnny Galecki, Adam Gregor, Mark Harelik, Simon Helberg, Jim Parsons, Sandra Marquez, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, Jim Parsons, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Simon Helberg, Jim Parsons, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, Jim Parsons, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Simon Helberg and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Simon Helberg, Jim Parsons, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Kaley Cuoco, Johnny Galecki, Simon Helberg, Jim Parsons, and Kunal Nayyar in The Big Bang Theory (2007) Johnny Galecki and Simon Helberg in The Big Bang Theory (2007) 8 more photos

Quotes 

  • Leonard : Do I have to quote Spock's dying words to you? The needs of the many...

    Howard Wolowitz : ...outweigh the needs of the few...

    Sheldon : ...or the one. Damn it, I'll do it.

    [does Vulcan salute] 

  • Penny : [Raj whispers something to Howard]  What did he say?

    Howard Wolowitz : He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a summer's eve.

    Penny : Yeah, and the bag it came in.

  • Leslie Winkle : Wait. You are going up against Sheldon Cooper?

    Howard Wolowitz : Yes.

    Leslie Winkle : That arrogant, misogynistic East Texas doorknob that told me I should abandon my work with high energy particles for laundry and child bearing?

    Leonard : She's in.

  • Howard Wolowitz : We're going to need a strong 4th for our team.

    Raj Koothrappali : You know who's apparently very smart, is the girl who played TV's "Blossom." She got her Ph.D in neuroscience or something.

    Leonard Hofstadter : Raj, we're not getting TV's "Blossom" to join our Physics Bowl team.

    Raj Koothrappali : How about the girl from the "Wonder Years?"

  • Raj Koothrappali : I say we wait until he looks at us, then laugh like "Yes, you are a smart and strong competitor, but we are also smart and strong and we have a reasonable chance of defeating you."

    Leonard : How exactly would that laugh go?

    Raj Koothrappali : [in high-pitched voice]  He-he-he-he-he-he!

    Howard Wolowitz : That sounds more like "We are a tall, thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your Dalmatians."

    Leonard : Guys, let's remember that Sheldon is still our friend, and my roommate.

    Howard Wolowitz : So?

    Leonard : So, nothing. Let's destroy him.

  • [regarding the equation in the final question] 

    Raj Koothrappali : Holy crap!

    Leonard : What the hell is that?

    Howard Wolowitz : It looks like something they found on the ship at Roswell.

  • Howard Wolowitz : Oooh... more details about the new Star Trek film. There's going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth.

    Raj Koothrappali : I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock's conception.

    Sheldon : Oh, please. For Vulcans, mating - or if you will, pon farr... is an extremely private matter.

    Leonard : Still, I'd like to know the details. His mother was human, his father was Vulcan. They couldn't just 'conceive'.

    Howard Wolowitz : Maybe they had to go to a clinic. Can you imagine Spock's dad in a little room with a copy of "Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears"?

    Raj Koothrappali : How come on Star Trek everybody's private parts are the same? No alien lady ever told Captain Kirk, "Hey, get your thing out of my nose".

  • Howard Wolowitz : Maybe I should answer the engineering questions. I am an engineer, after all.

    Sheldon : By that logic, I should answer all the anthropology questions because I'm a mammal.

  • Sheldon : The objective of the competition is to give correct answers. If I know them, why shouldn't I give them?

    Howard Wolowitz : Some of us might have the correct answers, too.

    Sheldon : [scoffing]  Oh, please. You don't even have a Ph.D.

    Howard Wolowitz : [standing up angrily]  All right, that's it!

    Leonard : Howard, sit down.

    Howard Wolowitz : [sitting down submissively]  Okay.

  • Howard Wolowitz : [Buzzing in and giving his correct answer to a question]  Seven hundred and sixty degrees Fahrenheit. The approximate temperature of the young lady in the front row.

    [Looks at her] 

    Dr. Eric Gablehauser : Mr. Wolowitz, this is your second warning.

  • Howard Wolowitz : Okay, we're going to need a strong fourth for our team.

    Raj Koothrappali : You know who's apparently very smart, is the girl who played TV's Blossom. She got a PhD in neuroscience or something.

    Leonard : Raj, we're not getting TV's Blossom to join our physics bowl team.

    Raj Koothrappali : How about the girl from the Wonder Years?

    Howard Wolowitz : Gentlemen, I believe I've found the solution to all our problems.

    Leonard : We can't ask Leslie Winkle.

    Raj Koothrappali : Why? Because you slept together and when she was done with you she discarded you like last night's chutney?

    Leonard : Yes.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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