Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Putting Swim Fins on a Cat (2007)

Ernie Grunwald: Clinician

Quotes 

• [Alan looks into signing up for drug trials] 

  Clinician : In such cases, common side effects include dry mouth, hair loss, blurred vision, inflamed gums...

  Alan Harper : [Nervous]  Okay...

  Clinician : ...mild nausea, heart palpitations, liver damage...

  Alan Harper : [More nervous]  Wow!

  Clinician : ...boils, shingles, sudden fainting and temporary darkening of the stools.

  Alan Harper : [Shocked]  Dear Lord! How much do you pay people to do this?

  Clinician : $1,000 a week.

  Alan Harper : I'm in!