She-Hulk: Attorney at Law (TV Series)
The People vs. Emil Blonsky (2022)
Tatiana Maslany: Jennifer Walters, She-Hulk
Photos
Quotes
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Megan Thee Stallion : Oh, you are way more fun than my last lawyer.
She-Hulk : I will kill for you, Megan Thee Stallion.
Megan Thee Stallion : Dial it back.
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Jennifer Walters : [to the camera] I know you can't wait to see Wong. I get it. I wanna make sure that you don't think this is one of those "cameo every week" type of shows. It's not. Well, except Bruce. And Blonsky. And Wong. Just remember whose show this actually is.
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Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : How would you characterize Mr. Bukowski in relation to his romantic life?
Jennifer Walters : Self-absorbed, chauvinistic, conceited. He once described himself as a New York 10 and an LA 11.
[Runa chuckles]
Jennifer Walters : He nicknamed his office the Dennisphere...
Dennis Bukowski : Objection. Relevance.
Judge Price : Mr. Bukowski, need I remind you that you're not representing yourself here? And this is your witness. But I agree. Mr. Pugliese, get to your point.
Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : It's been stated many times in this courtroom that a man of reasonable intelligence would never think that he was dating the real Megan Thee Stallion. In your opinion, Ms. Walters, do you think that Dennis Bukowski would believe that he could actually pull Megan Thee Stallion?
Jennifer Walters : Yes. Dennis Bukowski is an almost pathologically entitled man. He would absolutely believe that he's dating the real Megan Thee Stallion because he is truly that delusional.
Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : No further questions, Your Honor.
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Dennis Bukowski : We have too much history for me to be comfortable with her on the case.
She-Hulk : I would love to know what this is about and not work on it.
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Wong : Everything Mr. Blonsky told you is factual. I extracted him from the prison against his own wishes, because I required a worthy opponent as part of my training to become Sorcerer Supreme. And as Sorcerer Supreme, I insist that he not be punished for my actions.
She-Hulk : Again, I am not the one who will be punishing him. The parole board will not release him after seeing this video.
Wong : I know what you're thinking, Ms. Walters, and I'm not erasing everyone's memories. Not again.
She-Hulk : That is not what I was thinking. That is highly unethical.
Wong : Yeah, it's also very messy, believe me.
She-Hulk : Okay.
Wong : We'll send him to the Mirror Dimension.
She-Hulk : Don't know what that is, but no.
Wong : Shadow Dimension?
She-Hulk : What you can do to help is show up at the hearing and explain everything.
Wong : Very well. We'll reserve sorcery for
[taps his nose]
Wong : strategy B.
She-Hulk : Don't tap your nose.
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Emil Blonsky : Thank you, Jen. I'm in your debt, you know. Spiritually, of course.
Jennifer Walters : Just stay out of the news. That's all I ask. I don't wanna read any more stories about either of us.
Emil Blonsky : You might wanna reconsider that. They're gonna write a story about you one way or the other, you know. Better to be a part of it, really.
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Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : Good God. Dennis Bukowski.
Nikki Ramos : [slides Pug her drink] Yeah. No, you're gonna need that.
Jennifer Walters : [leans into the shot; looks at camera] Connecting the A and B story. Nice.
[leans back off-camera]
Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : How did you two work with him for so long?
Nikki Ramos : Oh, I kill him in my head several times, in many different ways.
Jennifer Walters : And yet he was convinced that she had a crush on him. The man is almost terminally deluded.
Nikki Ramos : I'd call him gross.
Jennifer Walters : Yeah. Just gross.
Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : Hey, would you be willing to say that under oath?
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Jennifer Walters : [panics during mugging] Oh, wait.
[transforms into She-Hulk; turns to Bulldozer]
She-Hulk : Get off me.
[throws Bulldozer off]
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Holden Holliway : Well, our friend, Mr. Bukowski from the DA's office, needs help on a delicate matter. He's been defrauded by an ex-girlfriend and wants to file a suit against her to get his money back.
Dennis Bukowski : Yeah. I bought her jewelry, flew her to Bali for a shoot, paid off her Volkswagen Passat. Subscribed to...
Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : But why the Superhuman Law Division?
Holden Holliway : The girlfriend in question is a shapeshifting Light Elf from New Asgard.
She-Hulk : Wow, Dennis.
Dennis Bukowski : Okay. Well, to be fair, I thought I was dating Megan Thee Stallion.
She-Hulk : I'm sorry. What? Sorry. You thought you were dating Megan Thee Stallion? Multiple Grammy award-winner megastar Megan Thee Stallion?
Dennis Bukowski : What part of shapeshifter did you not get?
She-Hulk : [chuckles] You thought she drove a Passat?
Dennis Bukowski : This is why I don't want Walters.
She-Hulk : [chuckles] I'm so sorry.
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Augustus 'Pug' Pugliese : Did he ever share his personal life with you? Specifically, his dating life.
Jennifer Walters : Yes, he would, prolifically and unprompted.
Dennis Bukowski : [mutters] You wanted to know.
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Dennis Bukowski : The sad part is that elf's just gonna get a slap on the wrist. I wish there was a way we could remove her powers and make sure she doesn't victim anyone else.
Jennifer Walters : Oh!
[to the camera]
Jennifer Walters : Did Dennis Bukowski just give me an idea?
[beat]
Jennifer Walters : That will stay between us.
