Two and a Half Men (TV Series)

Pinocchio's Mouth (2008)

Charlie Sheen: Charlie Harper

Quotes 

• Chelsea : What I mean is, if we're going to see each other on a regular basis, there should be some give and take.

  Charlie Harper : Based on last night, we're pretty even-steven in the give and take department. And if I recall correctly, you're up one take.

  Chelsea : Hey! Of the two of us, I'm the one with tennis elbow!

• Charlie Harper : [Jake is getting on Charlie's nerves]  How long is this whole 'grounding' thing gonna go on for?

  Alan Harper : Two weeks.

  Charlie Harper : Two weeks?

  Alan Harper : Charlie, he stuck his ass out a bus window at the girls' track team.

  Charlie Harper : That's what you're punishing him for? When you were his age, you mooned the girls' choir.

  Alan Harper : No, uh, when I was his age, you pantsed me in front of the girls' choir.

  Charlie Harper : Oh, right. Well, either way, you made the yearbook.