Lancelot Link: Secret Chimp (TV Series)
There's No Business Like Snow Business (1970)
Joan Gerber: Mata Hairi, The Duchess, Dragon Woman
Quotes
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Wang Fu : Dragon Woman?
Dragon Woman : Yes, Wang Fu?
Wang Fu : What did Baron say in message?
Dragon Woman : When Star of Karachi Diamond stolen, we sell it for $3 million.
Wang Fu : Then divide money. How much for each of us?
Dragon Woman : I figure out on abacus.
[Short pause]
Dragon Woman : Each member of C.H.U.M.P. will get $500,000.
Wang Fu : What you do with your share of money?
Dragon Woman : First thing, I will get rid of this abacus and buy adding machine.
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Narrator : A short time later, at the Headquarters of A.P.E., the Agency to Prevent Evil, Commander Darwin, the Head of A.P.E., awaited the arrival of his two top agents; Lance Link and Mata Hairi.
Commander Darwin : Sit down, you two.
[Darwin clears his throat]
Mata Hairi : Hi, Commander. What's new on the robbery?
Commander Darwin : We just intercepted a phone call from Ali Assa Seen to the Duchess out at the Big Mountain Ski Resort.
Lancelot Link : Oh, what's your theory, Darwin?
Commander Darwin : They're passing the diamond there. I'm sure.
Mata Hairi : Oh, those fiends! Ooh!
Lancelot Link : Don't worry, Commander. We'll stop them.
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Baron von Butcher : Did Ali Assa Seen get here yet?
The Duchess : Not yet.
Baron von Butcher : Have you seen any sight of A.P.E. agents around here?
The Duchess : No, not a one.
Baron von Butcher : Very good. That'll make everything easy.
The Duchess : My maid mentioned there's a marvelous expert ski instructor here. I think I'll take some skiing lessons.
[the Duchess walks away]
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Baron von Butcher : And so, soon we will have the most valuable jewel in the world.
The Duchess : Oh, the famous Star of Karachi Diamond.
Creto : Si, and it costs $3 million, too.
Baron von Butcher : Nonsense. It costs C.H.U.M.P. nothing. We are going to steal it.
[Creto and the Duchess chuckle]
Baron von Butcher : [as Creto holds a pair of scissors above his head] Take some off the top. I don't like long hair.