Central Intelligence (2016)
Dwayne Johnson: Bob Stone
Photos
Quotes
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[from end of movie bloopers]
Calvin Joyner : Are you not a super tool? You're not even Robbie Wheirdicht. You're Bob Stone!
Bob Stone : Shh! I made that name up.
Calvin Joyner : So what?
Bob Stone : It's not real.
Calvin Joyner : What does that mean? What, you think Mr. T, and Sting, and The Rock... You think those guys are real? That's a bunch of dumbass nicknames by a bunch of dumbass people.
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Bob Stone : You're like a snack-size Denzel.
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Calvin Joyner : Which car are we taking?
Bob Stone : [chucks a grenade under an SUV] Not that one.
Calvin Joyner : [walking away quickly] Oh, my God... Oh, God.
[the grenade goes off]
Calvin Joyner : Oh shit!
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Bob Stone : [speaking in front of high school class reunion] Being the hero of your own story isn't about stopping bad guys or climbing mountains. It's about overcoming bullies in your life, whatever or whomever they may be. It's about putting it all out there for everyone to see. And it's realizing that, in life, the most important thing that you can be is yourself.
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Bob Stone : Wow, Jet! You look amazing!
Calvin Joyner : You think?
Bob Stone : Oh, what? Yes!
Calvin Joyner : I just didn't know the kind of look to go for on my first day at the Agency.
Bob Stone : You look like a black Will Smith, or something!
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Calvin Joyner : Let's go.
Bob Stone : Nah. We're not going anywhere, Jet. This whole thing will be over in a jiff.
Thugged Out : Hey, how about this? Why don't you and your boyfriend apologize to Big Rick here and then go jerk each other off in the parking lot?
Calvin Joyner : That's, that's a lot...
Bob Stone : Yeah. You're right, CJ. That's a lot of homophobia coming out of a very angry man. You need to go get that looked at by a trained professional. But, since you have escalated this whole scenario by bringing what I can only assume is an unlicensed firearm into this public place, endangering the lives of all these innocent people, I can no longer, in good conscience, walk away and jerk anyone off in the parking lot.
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Bob Stone : No, you're just sexy as dick right now.
Calvin Joyner : You don't look somebody in the eyes and say that.
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Calvin Joyner : Hey, wait. Whatever happened to that girl that you liked in high school? Oh, God, man. The Doogie Howser girl. She was, like, fourteen, but somehow she was a senior. She wore a cape.
Bob Stone : Darla McGuckian.
Calvin Joyner : Darla McGuckian. "Yucky Gucky." Didn't she have a lazy eye or something?
Bob Stone : Two of 'em.
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Bob Stone : You ever steal a plane before?
Calvin Joyner : I stole some Starbursts one time.
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[last lines]
Calvin Joyner : Bob, is that my jacket? I can't...
Bob Stone : Yes!
Calvin Joyner : No, wait a minute.
Bob Stone : Yes!
Calvin Joyner : Oh, my God! Dude, where'd you get this from?
Bob Stone : Well, I sleep in it most nights, but it's clean now, totally good. Yeah!
Calvin Joyner : Man! You are the man! Yes!
Bob Stone : Family hug! What?
Calvin Joyner : Ooh. Okay.
Bob Stone : All right, let's go!
Calvin Joyner : Okay. All right.
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Waitress : Hey guys, my name is Lexi. Just let me know if you need anything.
Calvin Joyner : Ok.
Waitress : And I mean, like, anything at all.
Bob Stone : Okie dokie.
[Lexie laughs]
Waitress : You're funny! Do you ever like Snap Chat?
Calvin Joyner : Oh no, we don't...
Waitress : [Lexie interrupts Calvin]
Waitress : I wasn't talking to you.
Bob Stone : No, no, no. No, I don't do that. I'm just catching up with an old friend from high school.
Waitress : Aw! You're so sweet!
Waitress : I think unicorns are sexy too.
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Calvin Joyner : I'm sorry man, I am blown away right now; you used to be fat Robbie. It's like a total transformation, you're like Hercules or somebody. Whadja do? come on, give it to me, whadja do?
Bob Stone : I didn't do much really.
Calvin Joyner : Stop it!
Bob Stone : All right, well, I just did one thing.
Calvin Joyner : Come on, I need to know.
Bob Stone : I worked out 6 hours a day, every day, for the last 20 years straight. I mean, anybody can do it, right?
