#Float (2022) Poster

(2022)

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2/10
2 stars feels extravagant
michelezeephoto23 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
I don't want to get into any spoilers (although spoilers implies that you'll care, which you won't, because the characters are one dimensional and pointless), so I'll just say that this movie was poorly written, poorly executed, and laughably unbelievable. I gave it two stars because at the very least, if you're looking for a movie to laugh at, this fits the bill.

In what world, after watching your friends die in front of you, are you compelled to snap, "I want to be a YouTube star when I grow up!"? There were so many disjointed storylines going on, it is impossible to keep up with which vapid character is doing what. They're interchangeable, and embarrassing. Avoid, avoid, avoid. I cannot believe I spent money on this.
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2/10
These guys are definitely 'floaters' 🌊🛶 💩
agfw-282-7780036 February 2023
Being a horror movie following the tropes of this genre there's an understandable formula of hating some characters and liking some others.

But this movie breaks this formula by making you hate everyone, literally, no one has and redeeming features.

The enjoyment is gained from everyone getting some sort of comeuppance.

No one seems to really care for anyone else.

.. Kid goes missing, no one really cares, except for the god awful 'parents' ... friend disappeared under water accompanied with a pool of blood, oh well, let's keep floating and chatting and drinking.

The pacing is weird, audio awful almost like it's all done in ADR, acting is passable but made worse with the awful dialogue.

Whilst the production quality is reasonable, don't let this deceive you in to thinking it's an average film, it's just not.

One this is for sure, everyone of them are certainly 'floaters' 🌊 💩
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2/10
#No...
paul_haakonsen7 February 2023
Right, well I have to admit that the fact that this 2022 horror movie had a hashtag in the title was a clear and present sign of something was wrong here. But still, as I hadn't seen the movie nor even ever heard about it, and it being a horror movie, of course I opted to watch it.

Sure, I wasn't harboring any expectations to the movie, so writer and director Zac Locke had every opportunity to entertain and bedazzle me.

Except he failed to do so.

"#Float" had a very generic storyline, if you could get past the annoying social media influencer aspect, which is a laughable concept to begin with. And the fact that there was nothing scary or interesting happening throughout the 76 minutes that the movie ran for, also just helped cement this as a waste of time movie.

I wasn't familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie, but there were actually some fair enough talents on the cast list, I will say that much, despite of them having virtually nothing to work with in terms of a properly interesting script or memorable characters.

As for "#Float" being a horror movie, well, that might be stretching the term a bit.

If you enjoy horror movies, do yourself a favor and stay well clear of this one. It just simply isn't worth the effort, nor the time or money.

My rating of "#Float" lands on a two out of ten stars.
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1/10
#Tedium
influxtwo8 February 2023
The other reviews summed this one up well, and all heed a great warning. There's a reason this film found its free home on beloved free TUBI tv.

The acting is so appalling bad and uneven that it's distracting and it takes you right out of it. The stale and lackluster script follows quickly after it, down the drain.

Eventually, it's like they ran out of a script, idea, concept, or plot point all together and just found a tiny shack in the woods and settled.

Characters and actions/motivations are a strange and clumsy mix of confusion and unexplained undercooked contrivances, that lead nowhere. And bizarre decisions take over the plot when the script wears incredibly thin and realizes there isn't one.

This tried to think it was Blair Witch meets The Descent meets generic camping trip gone wrong or something. Except nothing much happens. A vlogger is apparently the main character. Horrible decisions and ignoring the warning signs, are just the start of trouble with this material. The rest of the issues with the plot bleed in to odd production errors/choices and strange camera work.

Throw in a random child, and entirely forgettable deaths (did I forget, or did they just not show anything worth-while I have no clue), and you're left scratching your head wondering why they bothered at all.

Without the # hashtag, I don't see how this succeeds. The film's development and execution is terrible, the actors have zero chemistry together. Its surprising the screenplay made it so far. Avoid unless you want an experiment in #tedium.
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1/10
Who chomps gum like that
rsuiii20 December 2022
I figured I would watch this movie late night since it was only a little over an hour long. Horror CAN be done quickly, though this wasn't Dien well at all. I turned it off 20 minutes in and that was giving it a chance from the opening credits on. Good horror can be done with bad actors and low budgets, but they skimped on the acting, like REALLY SKIMPED. Had a goodish premise and then Blake had to go and ruin it for anyone willing to give this movie a shot. The 3 girls were all actually good actors but the dudes seemed like they were pulled off the street to be in this movie. The creepy dirty guy was ok as well, then once again, Blake comes in the scene to ruin it. Don't waste your money on this like I did.
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1/10
I could not stop laughing!
song_of_rainbow21 February 2023
I would give it a 10, if it was supposed to be a comedy, but it is not. I's supposed to be horror. LOL I'm guessing the writer was high in the sky, and I am not talking plane. Basically, a (am I allowed to use the word bimbo?) gorgeus millennial, influencer with her cellphone attached (she is floating in the water with it) and friends go on a rafting holiday, where the year before one of their group drowned. (You would not catch me in a pleasure trip where a friend of mine drowned, but that is just me.) I'm not going to give the plot, lol, but lets just say, in horror movies the likelihood is that people will get killed. Another viewer gave a 2 for the beautiful scenic view. I am not that generous.
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1/10
Awful
amymay-6991621 February 2023
Warning: Spoilers
So bad I'm writing a review 20 minutes into the movie. What really irritates me about this movie,and a lot of other "lost friends" movies is the lack of URGENCY. And this movie is bar none THE WORST lack of urgency I have ever seen!! A literal CHILD goes missing,and the parents give a lukewarm effort into finding her,which is scalding hot compared to the other people's reaction,which is apparently "not my kid,not my problem" (earlier,LITERALLY one character suggested LEAVING A 5-7 YEAR OLD ALONE AT THE CAMPSITE, because having a kid nearby would cramp their day of tubing fun!!!)as they all go to relax on shore and complain about said missing child and her parents,because eff that kid,amirite?!? Why would they ALL be searching for her!?!? Then,THEY start disappearing,but still,meh. Let's go FLOATING!!! Just another regular day where you party gets smaller and smaller as the day goes on,as such things happen,no biggie!
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2/10
Proof producers have no business in creative decisions
kbtoys10012 February 2023
Directed by the Head of Business Affairs for quickly tanking studio Blumhouse, Float is just more proof that Hollywood producers are almost universally creatively bankrupt.

Float is a semi-found footage horror film about a group of millennials going on a tubing trip in memory of their friend who died on the river last year (why was he tubing by himself?). Utilizing about every cliché in the genre, someone or something begins to kill them off. (Don't worry, it will never explain what)

The acting is atrocious. The script seems like it was written on a napkin. The attempts to be relevant come as subtle as a hammer to the head. "People thought covid was fake too until it killed them!" "Rosé all day!" as well as a monologue to the dead guys urn they brought along how she "knows he was a good guy and wouldn't be hurting them" all will leave the viewer shocked the director isn't fresh out of high school.

Further proof was the music. There were several points they used the actual stock stinger effects that every YouTube video editor gets for free! I had to look up the composer, he did 2 things back in 2015 and nothing since. Considering a lot of the music is a guitar strumming or some synth pads I can't imagine why.

After a very tiny theatrical run, Float was dumped quietly on Tubi.

I find little to recommend here. There's about 3 kills with some standard gore. No nudity but the cast is in bikinis and swim trunks almost the whole time if that's your thing. Everything else is done so pedestrian that it's unforgivable for someone supposedly with experience.

Oh, and guess what? We get a music video during the end credits! How #kewl.
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1/10
#glad2bold
phildeesnow8 February 2023
As soon as I read another reviewer saying that this was on Tubi...i immediately went there out of curiosity. Found it. After an hour and a half of watching some 80's based drama about an ice cream parlor, i realized I was watching the wrong movie. Then I found the correct one. And i think I'm going back to that other one about ice cream floats. In #crappola, everything is sooooo annoying, that I'm hoping for everyone to die.

Gosh...i hate influencers and YouTubers, yes I'm old, and i don't care for likes or Instagram. Being that this movie is all about that. Well I hate this movie also.

My advice, find the other float...and at least you will care for someone in the movie.
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1/10
Like wow !!
cris-mary-joseph6 February 2023
Never have I ever watched a movie by fast forwarding. I think I watched the entire movie in about 20 minutes !! So definitely pass.

Wonder how movie like these are made. No good story no good dialogues, acting is terrible. The only thing that was decent was the scenic view. Rest all were a big no.

Btw what kind of horror movie was this. Hated every single character.

The creater never botherd to explain or even properly depicting why and how's of the so called phenomenon.

Yes there was one bearable thing about this movie, an end credit song. The one star review I gave was for that.

Rest its upto you all to watch or pass.
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10/10
I just like stuff like this
MayberryGranger16 February 2024
I love movies and books like this so so so much!!! It's not exactly anything much like the book but I go love it! The only down side is the LGBTQ s*** going on with Lena and Van, I still love the movie not bad just why has the world come to this!!! I do not support this!!! I will support if a really close friend becomes LGBTQ but not like support support. The movie is super good thought I recommend it for about 13-15 years and older because of some certain parts of the movie. It's not bad but it is undressing promoting that Waverley and Blake are maybe trying to DO IT. This is only my opinion. Hope this helps!!!

P. S. If you don't understand by the term -DO IT- I'm meaning 🍆🍑💦 §e×
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6/10
Interesting Premise, Comes Up Short with Fleshing Out
Reviews_of_the_Dead2 January 2023
Warning: Spoilers
This was the last feature that was showing on the opening day of Nightmares Film Festival. I did read up a bit while at work ahead of the festival starting so I knew a little coming in. The extent was reading the synopsis as well as seeing if I recognized any of the names of the actors. This was also the World Premiere.

Synopsis: when a vlogger and her crew embark on their annual river float to commemorate the untimely loss of their friend, they are plunged into a life and death battle with a mysterious local, a sinister paranormal force and their own fears.

Expanding out the synopsis a bit more is where I want to start. These friends come here every year as they float down this river. Their friend passed away here the previous time so they want to honor him as it says and spread his ashes. The friends that are here are Madison (Scarlett Sperduto), Dee (Kaya Coleman), Blake (Grant Morningstar), Kali Fyre (Kate Mayhew), Zola (Christina Nguyen) and Jackson (Miguel Muñoz).

Kali is a vlogger that is in the synopsis. She lives her 'persona' online and her boyfriend Jackson doesn't care for it. This builds tension between them. Her best friend is Dee who has a crush on Blake. To complicate things, he is there with his ex-girlfriend of Zola as well as their daughter Thea (Ophelia Lichtenstein).

This crew parties it up that first night. Things take a creepy turn when a strange local man shows up and warns them to not float down the river. He is played by Matt Wise. They ignore him and go back to doing what they were. They have more run-ins with him before getting on the river. What happens from there tears them apart. Blake and Thea disappear. Zola thinks she saw something supernatural kill him. Madison doesn't want to stay on the water while Kali and Jackson bicker. It becomes a fight for survival and try to understand what is happening here.

That should be enough of a recap to give you a bit more of what we are getting here without spoiling. It also explains the dynamic that we are working with. Now I where I want to start is with the Q and A after the movie ended. Writer/director Zac Locke was there with Sperduto and Mayhew. What I found interesting is that the latter was found from what she said as an unsuccessful social media account. She was doing a bit of vlogging and Locke thought she would be good in this role. That was funny as well as interesting that they used real videos to incorporate into this.

Now with that out of the way, I think this has an interesting set up. I've gone tubbing where we just float down the river like this. The title is interesting to incorporate the hashtag since that is in line with Kali. Having them go down the river like they are builds horror. You tend to be away from areas where you can't get service. If you don't secure things like your phone or keys, if you tip over there is a good chance you will lose them. I like that this incorporates these elements as that is grounded fear.

Then to go from there, I want to shift over to discussing the characters. I'll say that the performances are good across the board. Everyone feels like these characters they are portraying. It also feels like they've been friends for a long time. What I found interesting is that the party footage just had them go to a spot, turn the camera on and just record what happens. It sounds like it wasn't scripted which helps with the realism. The performances I want to give credit to are Wise and Lichtenstein. For the former, he does great as this creepy local. He wants to help and protect this group, but there does seem to be a bit more behind it when we see what he does. Then for Lichtenstein, I think it is interesting to have a child in this like we do. You don't expect it and it does raise tensions. The only issue there is that I never felt she was truly in peril. The acting was good for what they needed.

Back to the story. The last thing that I want to go into are the supernatural elements. I do think this is where we get a misstep. There is this supernatural force, but it doesn't feel defined enough. It almost had a Lovecraftian vibe where there could be a monster in the water. Then there are times that I thought it could be more than that since it can manifest things. It feels like they don't fully know it is or its abilities and they kept it mysterious. I just needed a bit more there. The only other issue is that I don't like the characters. It isn't the performances. If anything, I give them credit for getting a reaction out of me. They are just self-absorbed. I know it isn't fair as I see college me in them. I acknowledge it is due to me being in my mid-thirties while writing this.

The last things to go into would be with the filmmaking. I thought that the cinematography was good. I like the stuff on the river. That felt real. Other than that, it doesn't necessarily stand out. That's not a negative by any stretch. We don't get a lot in the way of effects. What we did looked to be done practical. If not, it would be solid CGI so I'll give credit either way. The soundtrack fit for what was needed. It didn't necessarily stand out or hurt the movie. If I do have a negative, I did lose interest as I feel the pacing is off slightly. This goes back to me not feeling they fully know what the entity is in my opinion.

In conclusion, I still enjoyed this overall. We have a cast of characters that I don't fully like, but they feel real. There seems to be a good set-up, I just don't know if they fleshed out enough for the entity. This is a well-made movie though. I will give credit to that. The only negative is that I think this gets a bit boring as it seems to lose its way for a bit. Not enough to ruin it though as I'm sucked in trying to figure things out. I enjoyed the ride well enough for what it took me.

My Rating: 6 out of 10.
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1/10
Stupid people who should have died sooner
jorgenbroms24 February 2023
OK. So every single person in this illogical mess of a movie is totally despicable. The foremost reason that I stopped watching this halfway is because: 1. Not enough of them were killed soon enough.

2. I feared one of them might survive and I can't live with that.

Other than that we have the minor issues of bad pacing, lacklustre cinematography, subpar acting and the overall lack of suspense.

I'm not a big fan of putting films down. But as a fan of horror movies since the early 80's (and yes I've seen all the crappy ones, believe me) sometimes Ieven I need to vent.

I don't know the backstory to, or the reasons why this film was made in the first place, but... well... Wrong decision.
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3/10
Oh man...
haskel-7295121 February 2023
I've watched four horror films in the last week or so. Skinnamarink, The Outwaters, The Black Phone (again), and this. It is not fair to Compare all of those to each other for many reasons, one being budget. While not the lowest budget here, #floaters sure feels like it is. Amateurish screenplay, directed adequately but not able to coax out a single good performance. While I would certainly watch this again before Skinnamarink, I hope to watch neither. Now that We've killed enough characters, here's the review: cheap, bad, forgettable. Sadly six hundred characters are necessary to say that. Wow.
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1/10
#FLOP
tmccull528 February 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Wow, what a novel concept. A bunch of twenty-somethings get together and head out to the country to get as wasted as possible, for as long as possible. Jeepers, I've never seen THAT in a horror movie before. Nope. Never.

To add to this novel concept, a strange local shows up out of nowhere to warn those crazy kids not to do what they're planning g on doing. Never saw that in a horror movie before, either. Nope. Never. And wouldn't you just know it, those wild and crazy kids ignore the strange local's warning. Wow. How original

Oh, and let's add a dash of forbidden romance, sexual tension, and personal rancor between our twenty-somethings because none of those things have ever been featured in a horror movie before. Nope. Never.

It would seem that Zac Locke went out of his way to make the most unoriginal, cliche-riddled horror movie ever. There is literally nothing that you haven't seen in at least a thousand other horror movies already, and most of those did it better than this turgid bowel movement of a film. This movie is about as stimulating and as frightening as a slice of processed stale white bread. One member of the group goes missing. Another one is killed, and everyone else acts as though these things are inconsequential. They just party on and behave as though nothing is wrong. The plot is beyond stupid.

The male actors that play Blake and Jackson may be the worst that I've ever seen, with Blake taking top honors as A-hole of the Year. "#FLOAT" is the kind of movie that will make you want to take a nail-studded baseball bat to anyone and everyone responsible for making it.
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2/10
It just seems unfinished...
awwatkin23 February 2023
I'm not really sure what to say about this movie except what I put in the title - it really seems unfinished. It's only 75 minutes and I think it really needed 15 more. A lot of movies are good until the end, and it's like they didn't really know how to end them so they come up with a really bad ending. This one sort of takes another approach - the plot isn't bad up until the end, and instead of giving it an ending, they just kind of ended the movie abruptly. Honestly, I'm not really sure what happened at the end. You're left not knowing if the creepy guy is good or bad. Unfortunately, I wouldn't recommend this one.
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1/10
The trailer was deceiving
mvaynshtok14 June 2023
At about 30 to 40 min the movie gets stupid It's hard to explain how it's just disappointing actors don't seem to care about their friends. There is no sense of urgency there is no emergency. The one is always on Instagram even though her friend was taken right behind her. The movie is just stupid plottedid. The trailer was a lot better than the actual movie can't believe. I paid 3 bucks for the stupid thing. I mean there's no urgency nothing the characters don't seem to care about nothing and no one. The cast could have done a little bit better by improvising practicing. The role would have showed a little bit more determination in the movie to make a movie feel as I thought it would be in trailer. Anyways. This is a corny movie don't get it.
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1/10
The writer really hates women....
The entire movie is just an ode to how narcissistic and b*tchy women can be. The main cast is 6 people, 4 women and 2 men. The men as good friends and supportive of each other. One even shutting down the women when they were trash talking the other. The women, on the other hand, are supposed to be 4 best friends and yet they act like they hate each other. They are unsupportive of each other's life choices and constantly talk trash about each other. One even makes out with the other's baby daddy. Then ***spoiler*** the final girl cares more about her social media blowing up than the fact all her friends were murdered. While escaping, she literally pulls over to check her comments section rather than drive to safety.

The movie is also completely unrealistic in the sense a 5 year old kid goes missing in a river and ONLY the parents go look for her. Like a missing small child in a river wouldn't cause a mass panic. They all just keep drinking and floating down the river while simultaneously talking trash about the mother who is supposed to be their best friend.

This movie is garbage and I hope the writer and director get over their hatred of women.
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1/10
#Float sinks quickly into mediocrity
greenjeremy-1382720 March 2023
So, let me set the scene... You and four... Or five... Of your most unlikable friends are standing by a relatively busy and populated river, two of the guys in your crew are total "chads", the one wearing a trucker cap in 2022 is unironically named Blake. There's also a instafamous TikTok debutante filming herself in selfie mode constantly, and two other girls who are caught up in a catty love triangle over the aforementioned Blake... Who, at one point, in a total himbo move tries to order meat tacos at a vegan taco truck not once... But twice! *Insert laughter, fade to black, scene transition"

So, the scene is set, now... Imagine that one of these friends suddenly dies... A plume of blood rising to the surface of the water... Would you get back on your raft and float in the same water immediately after having a mundane conversation about your relationship??? If you said yes, than this film is for you!

The cinematography is deceptive. For the first twenty minutes, the slick look of the movie devolves into hastily shot scenes with other river goers milling about in the background of shots that are supposed to be high tension, close-up shots and primitive rear projection and B-roll canned footage used for shots in white water and rapids. These kids split up more than Scoob and the gang. Also, the fact that every character is so incredibly unlikable makes their ultimate demises very anticlimactic. It's more of a mercy killing.
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1/10
Poor Thea.
kylakay1230-11 June 2023
Warning: Spoilers
A "5" year old with adult teeth goes missing on the River .... And they truly don't give AF. Continue floating. The rapids when they flip.. the editing is atrociously amazing. I was terrified for them! She continues vlogging instead of calling the cops for a MISSING child and friends and possible death.

When Zola finds Blake's body... I'm pretty sure she runs away 3 times... again. Editing was perfection (insert sarcasm).

Thea's parents are poo.

Kali pulls over to charge her phone and uploads a video instead of calling the cops.

They all deserved what they got.

Dee's hair is really pretty though.
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1/10
The women were pretty.....
deacon_blues-886327 February 2023
Warning: Spoilers
The best thing about this sorry excuse for "film" is watching each of these worthless people die. The only regret is that it wasn't real, so that none of us ever need suffer through another such pathetic performance from any of them!

The script and dialogue are so vapid and shallow it defies belief. The camera work is painfully amateurish and very annoying. The plot makes no sense, with people seemingly teleporting from the river to random locations for no apparent reason.

I haven't watched a film this totally bad for a long time. But it was only $0.99 to rent, so I figured, what the heck.

I sacrificed my buck so the rest of you don't need to.

So don't!
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3/10
If only they'd just sunk.
iamtherobotman9 February 2023
This is yet another 'horror' film to filed under 'nice premise, poor execution'.

It's actually getting quite tedious the number of alleged horror films which fail miserably in their execution.

A decent enough premise - a bunch of annoying teens head on off to scatter their dead friends ashes in the river they always 'float' every year. Only this year something is different. They're warned by a 'strange' guy not to float the river this year, but to come back next year as the river is taking people this year.

So what is that's causing these disappearances and ultimately, deaths? Well you'll find out...or will you?

Of course character wise, we have the mouthpiece 'Jock' type who wants to battle everyone, then we've got the vlogger, who vlogs. To be honest, everyone else is just everyone else.

The acting is poor, some of the dialogue is truly cringe worthy and when the deaths start, you really don't notice anyone going missing, nor for that matter do any of the other characters as they just continue on their way, floating downstream, after pretending to care for about 5 seconds.

This is another film which doesn't really have an ending, but equally it's not as though it's leaving it open for a sequel either. For me the biggest problem with so many recent horrors is that i genuinely think they're all trying to make something edgy, something arty, but they just end up making something like this.
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1/10
Couldn't Be Worse
arfdawg-123 February 2023
There is barely a plot to this horrible movie. The scenes are so cliched that for a bit of time I thought this was a satire/comedy.

Nothing really happens for a huge part of the film. The dopey kids are rude to the guy who warns them about the scary river. None of this would happen in real life.

The writing is moronic. The direction is non -existent

Another reviewer said this was a found footage movie, but it's not. He clearly didnt watch it. .

Literally half the movie is done before they finally get to the river. Another 15 minutes before they get into the river. OMG! The special effects are just dreadful.

How this movie got made is beyond me.

BTW, the movie is entitled #Float, not float as is shown on the IMDB web page.
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3/10
Go Easy On This One
jfgibson7315 June 2023
Yes, this is an ultra-low budget production with limited resources. You have to know going in what that usually means. I guess all the people complaining about the performances and filmmaking have never experienced anything other than a Hollywood blockbuster. There isn't really anything special about the story and a lot of things that happen to the characters go unexplained, so I can understand how that would frustrate some viewers. But the acting isn't really any better or worse than the average DTV release. The editing and sound design have some choppy moments that make the performances seem even worse at times, but when you saw the low rating for the movie, you could have guessed it would probably have those kinds of problems. For everyone complaining about the technical issues: congratulations. You saw your first Z-grade horror film. Now go back to your Transformers and your Fast and Furious.
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1/10
ZERO
richkiel27 May 2023
This film makes Asylum productions look like art. What is this thing? The characters are insufferable, the dialogue horrendous, the pacing terrible, the editing excruciatingly painful... I admit I didn't watch beyond the middle, so maybe the film miraculously improved and ended up with an M Night Shyamalan twist ending that made it all worthwhile. But somehow I doubt it. This was just painful to watch. I have seen a fair share of terrible movies, but this is a rare example of a film that is literally trying to force you to quit watching. They literally want to test how much patience and willingness to endure pain as a viewer you have. When a film does everything it can not to be liked by the audience, something really weird is going on. Maybe that's the real horror in the film.
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