Yes, we took an impromptu vacation last week, for which we're eternally sorry. However, we come to you today as fully refreshed men, prepared to answer your queries and assail the internet-at-large with verbal and physical abuse.
We're centering our chakras and aligning our voodoo power centers to bring you our most spiritual episode to date. Come, join us as we look not only into the problems of our dear listeners, but also, the maladies of the soul.
We appear to have forgotten that it's Valentine's Week, because this particular episode doesn't include much actionable romantic advice. If only today were a holiday celebrating sword-based home security.
Happy Presidents Day, everyone. Join us as we reflect upon the executive successes of administrations past, present and future, and also as we talk about which Presidents are the cutest.
We can't think of an episode that's as timely and relevant as the one you're about to listen to. Just in time for the Oscars, we're bringing you some truly sage-like movie talk.
We know that you'd never be so bold as to ask us to talk about relevant events like college basketball championships - so we went ahead and fulfilled that request for you.
It's a week of highs and lows for the McElroy bros, ranging from tragic revelations about Golden Corral visits to how great it would be if famous Hollywood actors were actually Pokemon. Stuff it.
Ssh. Oh, man. You guys are going to have to keep it down this week. We're feeling a little under the weather, which is to say, under the exorbitant number of St. Patrick's Day beverages we consumed. Let's just get through this one, okay?
It's the first part of our two-part Max Fun Drive extravaganza. Reach into them pockets, and pull out whatever's in there, and then throw that away. We don't want your change, folks. We want sky-high stacks of crisp American bills.
Looks like we've made it. Look how far we've come, our babies. MaxFunDrive 2012 was a raging success, and it's all because you fine folks are so, so good to us.
As you spend an hour with us this week, we ask you to reflect about all the hours you've spent with us, and then think about all the partying that you haven't done yet, and then, just, wow, what are you doing?
In a continued effort to synergize our product to its maximum potential, we've teamed up with The Avengers this week to bring you the super-est episode of MBMBaM yet.
It was a pretty momentous week, wasn't it? We know you're expecting to hear our erudite evaluation of recent events, but we can't do that for you, because we're not erudite, nor are we "news people."
Keep it locked to 104.3, WRVMBMBAM, for all your classic rock summer time jam needs. We're cranking out the hits from your favorite rock gods, like Ratt, and also Yahoo Answers.
This episode probably sports our worst audio quality to date, which we apologize for. We figured that an episode that made it sound like we were screaming at you while covered in bees would be better than no episode at all.
What dark forces could have possibly conspired to bring you this episode of MBMBaM? Jetlag likely played an important role, but some of the content is so heinous, Chtulhu's intervention seems like the only likely cause.
In this episode, we try our darndest to humiliate our own father into submission, and have a surprisingly earnest discussion about the trials and tribulations of being as famous as we clearly are.
It's so hot in the studio, gang. So, so hot. Logic and reason tend to leave the room as waves of molten hot air move in. It's like our ability to keep it together was displaced by degrees.
After a one-week forced sabbatical (thanks, derecho!), we're back and wetter than ever, ready to dole out all manner of advice on subjects we know little to nothing about.
For this week's episode, we suggest gathering all your loved ones in a room, and then running away from and locking that room, and then listening to the episode as far away from them as you can possibly get.
People all over the world: Join hands. Start a love train. Now, throw this episode of MBMBaM into the firey engine of that train. Let us power your train until it pulls into Good-Time Station.
Things get awfully real in this week's episode. There's really not a plethora of questions, actually: Just a few deep, deep dives into matters of the heart that will likely touch you. Right on the heart.
Hello, oldest brother Justin McElroy here. I've taken over posting duties from Griffin this week, but I don't really know the things he normally writes.
Just...just don't eat while listening to this episode. Please? Suggested Talking Points: God Loves Pogs, Good Good Washer Boy, Exclusive Sneak Peek: How I Met Your Mother Finale, Wall Decor, Dyspepsia, Justin's Ghost Tours, Kafkaesque.
Which football team has the best ball-runners? Which quarterback's arm is the hottest? Which catcher's got the stickiest hands? Who's got the drive, the hunger for touchdowns? Tune in for our sage-like Fantasy Football Tips.
It is the grandest tradition of all time that, should a new Beverly Hills Chihuahua visit itself upon the world, MBMBaM shall celebrate its arrival. Come to us, brothers and sisters. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
Ah, Fall. Smell the crisp autumn leaves and squash-scented candles. See the children, begrudgingly returning to school. Hear three brothers talk about the dark secrets of Juggalo Nation.
We suggest you take the proper precautionary measures to fend off the unseasonable chill that's swept this country of ours. Maybe wrap yourself in a Sheetz quilt, or just let us whisper into your ears for 10 uninterrupted minutes.
Happy Max Fun Day, everyone. To celebrate today's most-special of holidays, we've created our most Fleetwood Mac-est episode yet. We just know you're gonna love it.
We know that this particular episode may seem directionless, even more so than the typical MBMBaM experience. To that criticism, we would respond: Not all who wander are lost. Yeah? Think about that, critic guy.
You have a very, very important decision to make this week, friends: What kind of birthday presents should you get Justin and Travis? What do they deserve? What color goes best with their eyes?
Sex and death are the two most powerful primal forces in life, friends, so it's time we sit down and have a frank, overdue discussion about the two. Only, not at the same time. Because, gross.
Justin learned the power of his own shirtless form, Travis read a whole book (without help!) and Griffin got engaged. It truly is an important week for our family's growth and well-being.
We've got one week until Candlenights, an episode known for its cleanliness and familial accessibility. You know what that means? This week, we're exclusively talkin' 'bout dicks.
As with past installments in our annual Candlenights spectacular, we've managed to talk to one another for an entire hour without cursing, so it's good to share with the fam. Well, we actually cursed a lot. But we edited that out.
We're closing out this year with a thorough discussion of what Tom Hanks looks like down there, because we love you, and frankly, we think we're spending a little too much time together.