Ted (2012)

Giovanni Ribisi: Donny

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Donny is pursuing Ted up the tower of Fenway Park, trying to grab him] 

  Donny : You're mine, Ted!

  Ted : Screw you, pal. I belong to John Bennett.

  Donny : But I can give you love, and rocking horses, and dancing.

  Ted : I think we're very far apart on this.

• Donny : You know Ted, when I was a little boy, I saw you on television. And I thought you were the most amazing, most wonderful thing I'd ever seen, ever. And I asked my dad if I could have a magically little teddy bear, too. And he said, "No."

  Ted : Can you just email me the rest of this story?

  Donny : And I was so heartbroken. And I promised myself that if I ever had a son, I would never, ever, ever say no to him. Ever.

  Ted : Maybe "no" to a Snickers bar every once in a while wouldn't hurt.

• Donny : Excuse me. I'm sorry to bother you, but uh, my-my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.

  John : Oh. Oh, thank you.

  Ted : Thanks.

  Donny : Yeah. I-I'm Donny, this is Robert. I, uh... I have to say, I've been following you ever since I was a young boy and, uh... and I remember seeing you on the Carson show. You were just wonderful.

  Ted : Oh, yeah, that was uh... that was a weird interview. Ed thought I was ALF, and he kept muttering anti-Semitic comments.

  Donny : Hey-hey um...

  Ted : He thought ALF was Jewish for some reason.

  Donny : Have you ever considered selling the bear?

  John : What?

  Ted : Excuse me?

  Robert : I want it.

  Ted : [defensively]  Hey, I'm not an "it", pal. I'm a "he", all right?

  John : [stammers and stands up while speaking in a calm tone]  I'm sorry, little guy, but my bear isn't for sale. See, I've- I've had him since I was about your age. He's very, very special to me.

  Robert : Stand up straight when you're talking to me.

  John : Why the fuck would he say that?

  Donny : Sorry, you know, you really shouldn't swear in front of children. Uh... Look, we're very interested in the bear. If- if you want to make some sort of arrangement, here's my address and phone number. And uh... you can call me any time, okay?

  John : Will do. Look. Here it goes, in the really important pocket for really important stuff. Okay? Okay.

  Donny : Okay.

  John : See you later.

  Donny : Hey. Come on, Robert.

  Ted : Take it easy.

• Donny : Are you out here all alone?

  Ted : Uh, no, no I'm not. Uh, you're never alone, when you're with Christ, so no, I'm not alone.

• Robert : Stand up straight when you're talking to me.

  John : Why the fuck would he say that?

  Donny : Sorry, you really shouldn't swear in front of children.

• Robert : Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.

  Donny : Yes, you are, my little chipmunk. Happy playtime.

  Ted : Jesus fucking Christ!

  Robert : I said a bad word one time. Daddy punished me for it.

  Ted : That's a great story. I felt like I was there.

  Robert : Daddy gave me an ouch. Now, I have to give you an ouch.

  [tears Ted's ear off]